Before I go any further, I hope that you all don't think that this is something I didn't want. It is, it always has been, it's just the manner and the timing threw me way off. Although I shouldn't have been too surprised. I mean I haven't been on the pill since January and any time the fornicating (yep I really did use that word) happens you run the risk, and for us it wasn't a risk, it was something we wanted. The problem is that the fornicating happens few and far between here right now, and we had discussed "trying" starting in September. And by "trying" I mean ovulation kits and counting cycle days, calls to home for a lunch meeting and whatnot. I even had called Matthew earlier in the day to ask him the last time it happened because it felt like it had been forever. In fact it last happened the day after I got off my period. I was always under the impression that most women ovulated between 12 - 14 days after their period, and while this is true, I am now living proof that it also can happen at ANY time.
So let me back up. On Saturday of last week I noticed I wasn't feeling all that hot. No big deal, it was time for me to start and I usually feel pretty crappy right before hand anyways. Then Sunday came, Monday, then Tuesday and I started thinking that I was late. I'm NEVER late. Even when I'm off the pill my cycle is like clockwork. On Wednesday I decided to go ahead and take a test after something that happened at lunch. All of a sudden I got a wave of nausea, and all I could smell was milk, and there was no milk in sight. I'm sure you think I'm crazy but the last time I was pregnant my scent was heightened to a degree I didn't know existed. Anything that remotely had a strong smell had to leave the house. Walking past Bath and Body Works would almost send me running straight for the bathroom. So I had to run out to the store to get some other things anyways and decided to pick some up. If nothing else, I would have some for later months. I came home, decided then was as good a time as any to pee on the stick, Ava was happily watching Baby Einstein so I did it. I fully expected for it to skip over the first line and go straight to the not pregnant line. Not only did it not do that, the pregnancy line popped up in less than 30 seconds. My jaw hit the floor, I started shaking, crying and immediately ran to call Matthew who is in Florida for the week. He, like I, was shocked but I could tell from the sound of his voice he was happy and wanted to be here with me, not in Florida where he was.
And now that I have you on the edge of your seat, here comes the most ironic part. It was 2 years ago yesterday...to the day...that I found out I was pregnant with Ava. That is the part that got me. It is going to continue to blow my mind. Of course when I found out I was pregnant with Ava I hadn't even missed a period yet, I was like a kid in a candy store dying to know if it I was. So by all accounts, hoping that things go well, this baby will be here sometime around March 24, 2008. My birthday is March 23, and Ava's is March 27, so it looks like we will have our hands full with birthdays but how much fun will that be! I go to the doctor next month for an U/S so I'll have a better due date then. And who knows, if it's another girl we will have everything we need. And if it's a boy, then I'll have even more fun shopping all over again!
We have decided to keep this a secret for right now except for a few people (and the entire internet of course). I am dying to tell my parents but I want to wait until Matthew gets home on Sunday so we can do it together. I'm waiting to tell my close circle of friends, because one of them suffered a miscarriage last week and now is just not the time to talk about it with her. I did however go to the pool with another friend of mine today who secretly told me she's pregnant, so I went ahead and told her about me. It will be fun to have a friend here to be pregnant with. But she's also friends with the other girl so we were in agreement that this will be our secret for now. She's taking the miscarriage very hard.
Now that I've had time for it to set in, I'm excited, this baby is very much wanted and will be loved unconditionally. And although it is coming sooner that I had expected, I feel very fortunate that I am able to experience this journey again. I feel blessed that this is the next challenge that God has granted us, and that just means I will be able to hold this baby a few months sooner than I had ever dreamed. And I absolutely CANNOT wait to see Ava as a big sister.
So hop on board, this is sure to be a wild ride.