Friday, August 31, 2007

17 months, and pictures for your viewing pleasure

So my little precious Ava turned 17 months on Monday, so I'm a few days late getting to this. As usual this one is more for me than you, cuz I'd rather type than write in the baby book. And it's easier to type and eat popcorn than it is to write and eat popcorn.

This child is seriously wearing me out, but at the same time I'm having a total blast watching her change and grow on a daily basis. I swear to you she can crawl faster than some kids walk. Her knees are constantly black and calloused and I'm just waiting for her to literally just get up and run from me. Skip walking, go straight to running, do not pass GO, do not collect any money. But bless her heart she is TRYING so hard to walk. She just can't get the right balance and it frustrates her to no end. She stands up tries to take a step and then just falls down in a fit of tears, and it totally breaks my heart. So in an effort we do lots of finger walking, and she seems okay with that.

Vocally? She's a pro. Yep I'm gonna brag a bit. The child has over 30 words, too many that I honestly can't even count them all. New ones this month are below. And she actually knows what she's talking about when she says them, or at least I think she does.

Toe (says it while she takes a grab at my big toe)
Too bash (tooth brush)
Dink (drink)
Keys (obsessively points to key rack and yells until I give her the exact ones she wants)
Ban-tet (blanket - she has two that MUST go with us everywhere)
Pre-tty (sounds just like that, two very pronounced syllables. Points to herself in the mirror and says it, no idea where she learned that one)
Cute (pronounced more like cuuuuute - again, repeated when glancing at self in mirror, also repeated anytime I pull clothes out of her closet)
Too-tie (cookie - the person who taught her this needs to be punished. She's not stupid, she knows the difference between a cookie and a cracker.)
Mom (not really a new word, but I'm no longer mama. I'm flat out mom. Sounds so weird coming from a toddler)
Please and thank you (peas and dank ou - I'll take what I can get)

I think that's it, she's very good at repeating after us, but these are daily words around here.

I know I've mentioned it before but the child can and will climb on anything. Evidence below. And these are bar stools, so technically a little taller than a normal chair, and yes I took away the hand sanitizer from her before she could eat it.

She's a pro at undressing herself:

She has great organization skills (I did have this drawer insanely organized. You can see that she definitely does not have my OCD problem)

And she loves to get herself in challenging and difficult positions. Any one else think she needs to start some sort of gymnastics??

I just love this child more and more each day, and the thought of sharing her and not being able to focus all my time on her is terrifying and overwhelming. But there will also be a day when I look over and she's desperately trying to teach the twins something new, and I know my heart will burst with pride.

As for me, the past two days have been a nightmare. Everytime I think that I'm getting over this pukey crap, I have a setback. Yeah I know I'm "technically" still in the first trimester, and the second one can't come soon enough. I guess deep down I'm thankful that I'm feeling bad, because most of my other symptoms have all but gone away. Except for the peeing...every hour, which keeps me from sleeping which in turn makes me a bitter hag. I feel like a pill factory. I'm taking 2 Zo.fran a day, after almost every meal, and at night I'm usually taking Bena.dryl and a few times I've even taken Dram.amine. I can't sleep without them. When I was pregnant with Ava I think I took Tyl.enol MAYBE 2 times the entire pregnancy and that was it. I just can't do it this time. IAnd I'm praying that even though what I'm taking is considered safe, that my babies are able to come out alright. Oh and I'm also only taking Vitamins at this point. My doctor said it was okay, even though I still feel like I'm cheating myself. But they taste a heck of a lot better than regurgitated prenatals. Trust me.

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Knocking on Wood

Oh I'm knocking hard today. I have felt better today than I have the whole pregnancy. The last week as a whole has been pretty good with a few bad moments here and there, but I am desperately hoping this is the beginning of the end of the morning/noon/night/wee hours sickness. I should have known I was feeling better as my shopping bill this morning was well over $200. OUCH. And knowing the way I have been eating lately, that won't last me the week.

So just for my record, here's the latest on my cravings. I didn't really have any with Ava, I craved everything and that was that.

Chili dogs
Orange juice - oh sweet, sweet orange juice. I'm not usually a big fan, probably haven't bought any in 3 years. White Cheddar Popcorn - as evidence I have already eaten the entire bag, which consisted of a whopping 60 grams of fat.
Little De.bbie Snacks - any of them, all of them. Anything with chocolate is good, with chocolate and peanut butter even better!

At least the OJ is healthy right, RIGHT????

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Hurricane Ava

Please tell me that your playrooms/areas look like this. Maybe it's just my OCD but this drives me bonkers. I've given up straightening every day. And the poor child slips and falls all the time. The purpose of the letter mat was to give her something to play on, but of course she has more fun tearing everything apart!

Monday, August 20, 2007

The office visit that forever changed our lives

Okay I have about 5 minutes to get this post out or I'll be forced for the umpteenth (is that a word??) time to pick up all the rocks that the she child has taken out of the fireplace and thrown on the floor.

Obviously you all now know the news. Wanna know something else? Did ya know that it's only a 1 in 80 chance of conceiving twins naturally, and it doesn't have to run in your family to do so?? Because I didn't. Just some information that they might want to throw out there.

So as you know I already had an ultrasound at 6 weeks when I went in to complain about how crappy I had been feeling. My doctor had mentioned at that appointment that he might want to take another look at 8 weeks, just to get a better idea of size, date etc. But honestly I didn't really think I'd have another one until 20 weeks. But here's one thing about my doctor. He's VERY conservative when it comes to ultrasounds. When I was pregnant with Ava, they weren't able to give me a 100% positive ID on the gender, so he kept telling me that he would order another one, blah blah blah and it never happened, so I was honestly shocked when he came in last week and was very adamant about having another one. He even offered to call the insurance company and talk to them if they had a problem with it. I should have known right then and there that he was looking for something. Apparently he must have seen two at the 6 week mark but refrained from saying anything to me until he could be sure everything was okay.

So I'm laying there all exposed, and as soon as that wand went in I saw something different than the last time, but of course I had no idea about the shock that I was about to receive. Basically the conversation went like this:

Dr: (while patting me on the leg and giving me a shit eating grin) I just need you to take lots of deep breaths and relax.

Me: Umm, okay is there something wrong? You're kinda freaking me out.

A couple clicks of the buttons and a loooong pause

Dr: First baby looks great!

Me: Excuse me, first baby?? There's only supposed to be one!

Dr: You didn't know you were having twins? Chuckle, chuckle

Me: That's not possible! They don't run in either of our families. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my GAWD.

Dr: Well it's only a 1 in 80 chance that couples conceive twins naturally. It doesn't have to run in the family. How's that for a surprise pregnancy!

Me: Holy shit! I guess it's a good thing my husband didn't make it to the appointment with me today. You all would have had to wheel him out of here on a stretcher.

Dr: I think it's a pretty good idea if you go home and make him a stiff drink.

Yep I totally said holy shit in front of my Dr. and his nurse. It's a good thing I already have a pretty good relationship with him. I've never seen him smile or laugh so much. I'm glad I could amuse him so much.

So as of last Tuesday one measured 8 weeks 2 days, and the other 8 weeks 3 days so apparently that's great. I don't go back until next month and I'm going to be a nervous wreck until then. As of right now my due date is March 22, but his goal is to get me to 36 weeks so these babies will probably be here in February and not March. I have so many emotions going on right now. I'm TERRIFIED, I'm excited, I'm nervous, I cry almost every day wondering how in the world I'm going to handle this. How are we going to afford 3 children in college at the same time or 3 weddings if these are 2 girls. How am I going to have the energy and the time to take care of Ava when these babies will demand my every moment. I'm so scared that she will get/feel left out, and I NEVER for a minute want her to think that I love them more than her. She is my baby, my first born, and she has a place in my heart that can never be replaced. On the flip side I'm so excited to see her as a big sister, to see all three of these children grow up together, to watch them fight, to watch them laugh and cry together. Everyone around me thinks it is the coolest thing, and some of them have even told me they are jealous. It is cool. I mean not alot of people get to go through what I am getting ready to go through. I just have to pray and know that this happened for a reason. I almost think that this is God's way of giving back to my parents, who struggled with infertility for 6 years before they gave up and decided on adoption. This is his way of taking care of them, because they have done the best humanly job of taking care of me. I'm so excited that I'm able to give them their first, and possibly only grandchildren. And in the end I know it will be okay. We have a new house with plenty of room, and plenty of love to give. And I possibly have the greatest family in the world to help out. My parents are already talking about slumber parties with all three.

In other news, Ava's still not walking, but lord is so close it drives me crazy. And she crawls on anything/everything, and is becoming more of a handful every day. Her vocabulary is exploding, she repeats almost everything that we say to her, single words of course, and is getting better about telling us what she wants. We have to keep her clothed at all times, because she knows how to get the diaper off, and I have been known to find little presents through out the house. She laughs all the time, loves music and will dance and bop her head for hours if we let her. She has been really clingy lately, I'm sure it's probably because she senses something's different with me. Let's face it. She's basically getting whatever she wants, primarily because right now I'm too exhausted and sick to deal with her tantrums. I'm doing the best I can, and I know it will come back to bite me in the ass one day, but right now I just can't handle listening to the constant whining. I know it will get better and I'm counting down the days until I make it into the second trimester. I'm a creature of routine and it has been shot to shit the last few weeks. I'm behind on everything. But that's trivial, and I don't need to worry about the little stuff right now.

Wow that was alot longer than I intended it to be!

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Wordless Wednesday

Apparently Mr. Sippy cup's lid was not on tight enough. And I have no idea how that kleenex got in there...

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Mumbo Jumbo

I had no idea it had been almost 2 weeks since I posted, it's probably been the longest 2 weeks of my life. This pregnancy is literally kicking my ass, but the good news is that it seems to be getting a little better, and the only way to go from here is up. This post is probably going to be a jumbled mess of thoughts, but that's about the best I got for now.

I started on the Phene.gren on July, 20 almost immediately after I found out I was pregnant. I realized pretty quickly that it wasn't helping, in fact it felt like it was making me feel worse. I suffered on that for a week until I called back, and all but begged for something else. They called in, which I now must recognize as the greatest drug on earth. Seriously. It's $50 a pill and if my insurance wouldn't have paid for it, I would have. I didn't care what the cost, I just wanted to feel normal, or halfway normal. I wanted to be able to hold, feed, change, and play with my daughter without feeling like I constantly needed to run to the bathroom. The feeling was constant. I was miserable from the time my feet hit the floor until I actually fell asleep at night. I didn't want to have to medicate myself during pregnancy, especially during the first trimester but I literally didn't think I would make it without it. Alot of it has to do with my anxiety disorder, which I'll go into at a later date, and they say that if the benefits of taking medication outweigh the risks, then do it. The first day on the new medicine was unbelievable. I couldn't believe the difference. Then the second day hit, July 29, and I don't know if I just had an off day or what, but that was the worse day I've had so far. I almost passed out, literally, and it scared the living crap out of me. And more so because one of my episodes happened in the car, on the way home from church with Ava in the backseat. Somehow, by the shear grace of God I made it through the day and I called the doctor first thing Monday morning. By this point I was feeling alot better, but they wanted to schedule me for an early appointment anyways. So, on Tuesday of that week I went in, talked to the doc about everything that has been going on. I was prescribed enough Zof.ran to last 6 months, and a new prenatal, Premesis. That in itself has helped wonders too. the good thing, it's not a horse pill like most of them are. He also went ahead and did an ultrasound just to be safe, and I got a glimpse, albeit small, of my new baby and for a minute all was right again. According to that my due date is March 25, but I have to go back next Tuesday for another ultrasound and I think at that point they will change it. He's basing that on a conception date of July 2 , and it didn't happen then. I can guarantee it.

I had also forgotten how much you have to eat. I never thought I would say this but I am so.sick.of.eating. The difference this time is that I crave nothing, and have aversions to everything. Nothing ever sounds good, and if it does I usually put the food in my mouth, chew a few bites and promptly spit it out. I did not have that problem when I was pregnant with Ava. I ate everything, and I wanted to eat everything. This time I'm eating out of necessity, not out of want. But I know I have to keep food in this belly to keep the nausea at bay. I've eaten a shit ton of Popsicles, and popcorn. I'm really trying to eat healthy, but at the same time right now I'm just eating what I think will stay down. So far so good. But sometimes it is a struggle. Nights are worse than mornings, which is also interfering with my much needed sleep.

Matthew and my parents have been absolute life savers, especially during my really bad week. I literally couldn't get off my butt that week except to eat and go to the bathroom. I didn't even leave the house. I think I showered but how many times, I have no idea. I know I have done alot of bitching over the last three weeks, and god bless them for doing whatever I needed them to do without saying a word.

I know that I still have a long way to go, but just seeing our little blob on the screen last week makes it more than worth it And I know I can get through it. I may just bitch along the way.