Monday, May 26, 2008

Here with a Vengence

I hope everyone had a wonderful holiday. Mine you ask?? Spent gracefully on the couch. That way I can continuously pop in DVD after DVD to entertain my child, yet I'm close enough to the bathroom. I'm no longer thinking about the negatives of Friday's appointment, because if the past 3 days are any indication, all is more than well in my uterus. It started last week, but since Saturday it's been here in full force. It all started with my ill choice of Chinese food for lunch. I can't tell you how many times I've told my husband that no matter how much I beg for it when I'm pregnant, DON'T BRING IT HOME. It does not sit well with me ever, period. So after lunch I proceeded to head to the movies and dinner with some friends. There was a span of about 7 hours where I didn't eat, the $6.00 tub of popcorn at the movies didn't count. By the time we finally ate it was well after 7:00 and I was done. As my one friend told me I went from fine to green in about 2 seconds. Not sure that I'll be craving Mexican food any time soon as it's been downhill since then. I'm now waking up sick in the middle of the night, something I remember doing with both Ava's pregnancy and the twin one. So in my mind?? Right on track.

My hormones are out of control, my husband is pissing me off, I'm crying at movies that aren't supposed to be sad, and I'm being hard on my toddler for things she can't control. I'm just sort of at the end of my rope. I don't handle it well when I'm sick and as I'm laying here on the couch she's jumping repeatedly beside me and doing belly flops on my stomach. She's trying to play and I'm getting on her for doing it. For once I just want to be the one that sleeps in on a Saturday, and then is able to take a leisurely nap in the fternoon but I don't see that happening any time soon.

Enough of that, as crappy as I feel, I'm sort of thankful that I don't feel good as we all know that is usually a good sign. I'm planning on calling my Dr. to get him to call me something in. I personally can't function like this. I'm the whiniest sick person, and even though I wanted to keep pills to a minimum this time, I feel that it's a necessary thing to get me through the next few weeks. I have things to do and places to go and I can't live my life on the couch. Ava doesn't deserve that.

Now would someone please just tell me to shut up and quit bitching...

Friday, May 23, 2008

Another hill in the rollercoaster that is my life...

I'm seriously to the point where I'm not sure if the ride will ever end.

The bottom line of the Dr. appointment goes something like this...yolk sac clear and visible, no baby in sight, come back for follow up Ultrasound in 2 weeks. According to my calculations I'm 7 weeks and 4 days, but according to them they should be able to see the baby by now. My last two pregnancies it was plain as day. So, either I have a baby that is very good at hiding, I had a really weird/long cycle and maybe ovulated at a weird time, or the baby stopped growing and isn't viable. When you are this early in a pregnancy a matter of days can mean alot on the ultrasound. He's optimistic that there is the yolk sac, and for a split second at the beginning I heard him say "that's what we're looking for," yet it was never to be seen again. Having to wait two weeks is going to be another nightmare. All I have done is wait, and here we go again.

I've spent hours this afternoon with Dr. Google, and he has been both my best friend today and my worst enemy. Bottom line is I KNOW (well according to my $150 Clear Blue Easy fertility monitor) when I ovulated and when it happened, and I suppose that I could have had a long cycle. My system hasn't been completely normal since I lost the last pregnancy. I had a couple 28 day ones, but I also had one that was 32 days. This time I tested on the morning of day 26, and again that night and the first test was non-existent and the second one clear as day. I know that those can detect hormones at least 5 days before a missed period, I'm thinking that maybe this was a long cycle month, which would have at least set me back a few days. I'm probably over rationalizing, and I know many people who thought they were a week ahead of where they were at this point and everything was fine, but with everything I've already been through, it's hard to be optimistic. I'd like to think that if he was that concerned then I wouldn't be waiting two weeks to go back, but then my negative side thinks maybe he's already expecting the worst and by then maybe I will be back in his office to confirm the end.

He did seem positive that I was still having symptoms, but wouldn't you know that even though I felt like crap this morning, I feel OK now. I'm praying for the sickness to come back...god I never thought I would say that.

**Ok so I just gagged while feeding the dog, yeah his food smells but that doesn't usually happen. Don't know if that's good or bad**

Thursday, May 22, 2008


I just spent 30 minutes typing out my answers to the questions...and since Blogger deemed them not worthy to post I just lost my whole entry. Fart. I do not have the mind strength to do it again so I'll try tomorrow. Until then, I'm off to my Dr. in the morning, let's hope all goes well.

AND, the sickness has surfaced. The ironic thing is mornings are actually the easiest part of my day. It usually hits around lunchtime and just gets progressively worse until I'm asleep. Not as bad as last time by far, but gosh I was hoping to catch a small break. I'll get through it, I'm just definately not as chipper as I was a week ago. And the orange juice that I so feverishly craved last time??? has been replaced by some minty/oreo pie that I found. Just what my thighs needed. I expect a full on weight lecture in the AM.

Will post again tomorrow when I can.

Sunday, May 18, 2008

Because I know you really wanna know....

Because my brain has completely farted out on me as of late, I seriously cannot think of anything to write about. Sure we've had things going on, but when I sit down and try to type it out, it is so boring that it puts me to sleep. Okay so everything puts me to sleep right now but in order to spare you one of THOSE kinds of posts until my brain starts to function at a normal level again, I'm opening up this one to you.

I've never done one like this before, so it's your time to ask me questions. Anything you want to know, just ask. I'm dying to know what you all want to know about me.

I'm waiting......

Thursday, May 08, 2008

Time for a quick commercial break...EDITED

Sorry for the lack of posting...having major server/router issues and therefore Internet won't work (posting from a friends right now). My brother AKA major computer geek is supposed to be coming over tomorrow to fix/transfer some things out so hope to be back in business then.

On a side note, (and totally more for my benefit than yours)

Pregnancy related issues:
  • Sore boobs (but not sure if that's from them actually being sore or them being sore from me poking them all day to see if they are sore)
  • Tired, no EXHAUSTED. Sort of remember being this tired with Ava, but not with the twins. Her nap time can never come soon enough for me.
  • Feel good other than that. By this point in my last pregnancy I was doped up with 2 anti-nausea medications, so hopefully that's a good sign, but I'm sure I just jinxed myself in saying that so I'll go ahead and make sure toilets are clean.
  • Smells are starting to become stronger, but nothing really that bothers me...yet. Again, full force gagging was in effect by now with the last pregnancy. Just the smell of my house made me gag.
  • First Dr. appointment is May 23...and NO ONE from my family will be here to celebrate in the joy. Matthew is on a 4 day fishing trip and mom and dad will be in FL. Boo.
  • Speaking of family, we still haven't told anyone yet. I was really wanting to wait until after the appointment, but since my parents will be gone, we decided to go ahead and do it on Sunday. Things would have worked out perfectly however Matthew just found out TODAY that he is probably going to Brazil on Sunday. He was supposed to leave for Canada on Monday, but now they think it's more important to go to Brazil...per the President of the company. So I'll be telling my parents solo. Last two times were told within 3 days of finding out, so needless to say it's been TORTURE keeping this a secret.

Will let you know how it goes...I still think my parents have a hard time dealing with the fact that I DO have sex, but nevertheless they will be thrilled.

**Sitting here messing around and TOTALLY screwed up my template, back to square one!