It was one year ago today that my life as a mother changed forever. This day last year I learned that I would not be bringing two babies home, and the life of the remaining baby was hanging in the balance.
Words still cannot describe the pain I felt that day, but there was still hope that I would be bringing home one healthy baby.
Little did I know.
The memories of my pregnancy are fading, but the pain I feel over that loss is always there. I don't cry about it anymore, but I think about them and say a prayer every single day. The what if's can be overwhelming at times, but I've proven to myself that even though nothing will ever be the same again, I can and have moved on. That experience has forever changed who I am as a person, and who I am as a mother. I have more dead children than I do living ones. No one should ever have to write that.