Late but not forgotten

Ava second birthday video

Easter Pics and Birthday Drama

This has been an absolutely insane week, and it's only Wednesday!

Easter was a lot of fun this year. She's really at the age where she's starting to "get it." Ava and I got up and went to church with my parents (Matthew had to take his son back home and the timing wasn't right for him to come with us) so I waited until after church to give her the Easter Basket. She was pretty excited for all of her goodies. I try not to expose her to a lot of candy, but this weekend I splurged and I'm sure I will now pay dearly for it.

By far her favorites were the suckers, and the candy necklaces/bracelets you see on your left. I'm STILL finding pieces laying around the house, they finally went in the trash this morning before she got up.

It looks like she's trying to share right, she's not. Sharing is not one of her positive traits yet. The only words I heard for about an hour were "open it NOW, please." It's easy to say no to a toddler that screams at you, it's hard to say no to one that screams and then says please.

The oh so precious jewels...the candy necklaces remind me of summer camp! Yes I realize she's probably a little too young, but she actually didn't really want to eat it, she just loves anything jewelry and I'd rather her break these, than anything of mine.

Most of the rest of the day was pretty uneventful. Sunday was also my birthday....my 32nd. It pains me to even write that. I honestly think that Matthew forgot. I'm usually pretty obnoxious about my birthday, counting down the days until it comes, and I think that helps him to remember. This year I didn't do that. Not because I wasn't excited (which really I wasn't) but because my due date was Saturday, and seeing the day get closer and closer really helped put things into perspective. I went out to the grave site, and put some pink tulips down...and seeing our permanent head stone that is now there, really hit home.

Going back to the story, it was 5:00 before I got any sign that he had remembered. No Happy Birthday, no hug, nothing. I wasn't pouting but I wasn't myself either. I was standing in the kitchen and I hear Ava running toward me and in her hands was a card for me, and right behind her was my husband with one. It was getting better, and then he made us dinner, cleaned the dishes (which he NEVER does), gave Ava a bath and got her in bed. Not a bad end to the day.

Now here's the birthday drama. My sweet little girl is turning 2...TOMORROW! Holy shit where has the time gone. The drama is about her party. Matthew and I wanted to have a close family cookout here at our house, have her open presents, cake...that kind of thing. If we did that there would be at least 18 people here which is PLENTY. My parents think we need to invite my whole damn extended family...aunts, uncles, cousins...everyone just because we did it last year. Matthew's mom is an only child, so he doesn't have cousins, aunts, uncles...and I have a large family on both sides. I have to invite my grandparents, there's no question about that. The problem is that both sides of my family live in small towns, see each other frequently, and will no doubt find out that we didn't invite them if we don't. So I'm stuck in the middle, I want to do what's best for us and for her but at the same time I want to please everyone. I guess it's not really so much drama, as it is frustration. I want this party to be fun for Ava, I want the planning to be fun for me, and right now it just seems that there's more conflict than there needs to be. In the end my parents will get what they want, and we will have to deal with the cost of food, as well as opening up our house to 30+ people.

Anyhoo, better get back to work. I'm desperately trying to get Ava's year video done by tomorrow, so hopefully you will hear from me then!

Bow chicka bow wow..

You will notice a new ticker on my page.

We've gotten there. We are finally at the point where we think we're ready to give this baby making thing another try. Of course we're been talking about it since "it" happened, but to really sit down and say, okay now is the time has been hard to do. We want another chance to prove that we can do it, and no matter what the outcome is, it IS worth any hardship/problem/devastation that may come from it.

My husband has really been on the fence, how can he not be. We went through a very traumatic event. My body was literally put through the ringer. I'm not going to say that we aren't scared, because we are but I keep trying to convince him and myself that what happened was a fluke. An accident, and it can't/won't happen again. We don't know that for sure, but we can only assume that since I've had one normal pregnancy, another one should not be unattainable. The hardest part about putting the ticker up there, is that my due date is/was March 22. I have a friend who gave birth to two healthy twins today (7 lbs a piece) and she was due two weeks after me so I know that those babies would be here by now. But they aren't, and every day since Nov. 15 I've gotten out of bed, realized how lucky I am to have what I have, and I've told myself that if I was supposed to have more children, than I will.

I'm sure should it happen again, the emotional aspects will be high. I'm sure to be on the emotional roller coaster from hell, but it will be worth it. My body is not where I want it to be, I've been working on losing weight since the beginning of the year, and it's proven to be a challenge in itself. This may be a short journey, it may be a long journey, and I'm sure it's going to be one hell of a scary ride.

Happy Birthday you rotten mutt

Even though at 3 years old you still find it comical to occasionally shit and leave zig zagged pee stains on my carpet, our life is better because you are in it. Thanks for being such a good sport during all the ear pulls, tail yanks, and weiner tugs that you have had to endure. Ava's best giggles come when she's playing with you.

We love you buddy

All about some pictures

I'm sure I have lots I could post on, but it's been a rotten week so I figured I could keep you happy and bombard you with pictures. Just so you've been warned.

Not the greatest pic here but the little devil would not sit still. This was the first (and only time so far) that I have been able to put pigtails in her hair. I have been dying for this moment, and God willing I'll be able to do it again. She won't wear bows, wear barrettes, nada, nothing.

This is what I found when I was changing her from a nap the other day. You can only imagine the marks that she had on her legs. I'm not even sure where she got these, but I'm a tad impressed with how she got them on.

This one sort of explains alot of things. She still won't keep her pants on, so I've resorted to at least trying to keep big girl panties on. You have no idea how many half naked shots I have of her, because no matter what else she has on, she MUST be wearing those stupid red boots. Yes they used to be cute, and now they are just big stupid red boots. And check out the killer thighs I'd like to think that she got my cheerleading/gymnastic legs, but that would require them to have much more fat. I'm already picturing teacher conferences where I have to apologize for her drop kicking the guy that pulls her hair.

I guess I should throw in a potty training story while we're sort of on the subject. Basically it's non-existent, which is okay by me. But she will say potty, we'll run to the potty, she sits for all of about 5 seconds, closes the lid and says "bye poo poo." Not quite where I'd want us to be but at least she sort of gets it.

This one has been requested a few times...these come in a strong second place as her second faves behind the red ones...but they are mommy's favorites so sometimes I win.

And this one is by far, one of my favorite pics of her. It's a tad blurry, but I just love her expression. And the blue eyes...enough said.

And these last few of us are at the George Strait concert last weekend.

Before the concert and therefore still sober.

Getting there...

Gone...but what a good time it was

Hope everyone didn't get sowed in this weekend.