The office visit that forever changed our lives

Okay I have about 5 minutes to get this post out or I'll be forced for the umpteenth (is that a word??) time to pick up all the rocks that the she child has taken out of the fireplace and thrown on the floor.

Obviously you all now know the news. Wanna know something else? Did ya know that it's only a 1 in 80 chance of conceiving twins naturally, and it doesn't have to run in your family to do so?? Because I didn't. Just some information that they might want to throw out there.

So as you know I already had an ultrasound at 6 weeks when I went in to complain about how crappy I had been feeling. My doctor had mentioned at that appointment that he might want to take another look at 8 weeks, just to get a better idea of size, date etc. But honestly I didn't really think I'd have another one until 20 weeks. But here's one thing about my doctor. He's VERY conservative when it comes to ultrasounds. When I was pregnant with Ava, they weren't able to give me a 100% positive ID on the gender, so he kept telling me that he would order another one, blah blah blah and it never happened, so I was honestly shocked when he came in last week and was very adamant about having another one. He even offered to call the insurance company and talk to them if they had a problem with it. I should have known right then and there that he was looking for something. Apparently he must have seen two at the 6 week mark but refrained from saying anything to me until he could be sure everything was okay.

So I'm laying there all exposed, and as soon as that wand went in I saw something different than the last time, but of course I had no idea about the shock that I was about to receive. Basically the conversation went like this:

Dr: (while patting me on the leg and giving me a shit eating grin) I just need you to take lots of deep breaths and relax.

Me: Umm, okay is there something wrong? You're kinda freaking me out.

A couple clicks of the buttons and a loooong pause

Dr: First baby looks great!

Me: Excuse me, first baby?? There's only supposed to be one!

Dr: You didn't know you were having twins? Chuckle, chuckle

Me: That's not possible! They don't run in either of our families. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my GAWD.

Dr: Well it's only a 1 in 80 chance that couples conceive twins naturally. It doesn't have to run in the family. How's that for a surprise pregnancy!

Me: Holy shit! I guess it's a good thing my husband didn't make it to the appointment with me today. You all would have had to wheel him out of here on a stretcher.

Dr: I think it's a pretty good idea if you go home and make him a stiff drink.

Yep I totally said holy shit in front of my Dr. and his nurse. It's a good thing I already have a pretty good relationship with him. I've never seen him smile or laugh so much. I'm glad I could amuse him so much.

So as of last Tuesday one measured 8 weeks 2 days, and the other 8 weeks 3 days so apparently that's great. I don't go back until next month and I'm going to be a nervous wreck until then. As of right now my due date is March 22, but his goal is to get me to 36 weeks so these babies will probably be here in February and not March. I have so many emotions going on right now. I'm TERRIFIED, I'm excited, I'm nervous, I cry almost every day wondering how in the world I'm going to handle this. How are we going to afford 3 children in college at the same time or 3 weddings if these are 2 girls. How am I going to have the energy and the time to take care of Ava when these babies will demand my every moment. I'm so scared that she will get/feel left out, and I NEVER for a minute want her to think that I love them more than her. She is my baby, my first born, and she has a place in my heart that can never be replaced. On the flip side I'm so excited to see her as a big sister, to see all three of these children grow up together, to watch them fight, to watch them laugh and cry together. Everyone around me thinks it is the coolest thing, and some of them have even told me they are jealous. It is cool. I mean not alot of people get to go through what I am getting ready to go through. I just have to pray and know that this happened for a reason. I almost think that this is God's way of giving back to my parents, who struggled with infertility for 6 years before they gave up and decided on adoption. This is his way of taking care of them, because they have done the best humanly job of taking care of me. I'm so excited that I'm able to give them their first, and possibly only grandchildren. And in the end I know it will be okay. We have a new house with plenty of room, and plenty of love to give. And I possibly have the greatest family in the world to help out. My parents are already talking about slumber parties with all three.

In other news, Ava's still not walking, but lord is so close it drives me crazy. And she crawls on anything/everything, and is becoming more of a handful every day. Her vocabulary is exploding, she repeats almost everything that we say to her, single words of course, and is getting better about telling us what she wants. We have to keep her clothed at all times, because she knows how to get the diaper off, and I have been known to find little presents through out the house. She laughs all the time, loves music and will dance and bop her head for hours if we let her. She has been really clingy lately, I'm sure it's probably because she senses something's different with me. Let's face it. She's basically getting whatever she wants, primarily because right now I'm too exhausted and sick to deal with her tantrums. I'm doing the best I can, and I know it will come back to bite me in the ass one day, but right now I just can't handle listening to the constant whining. I know it will get better and I'm counting down the days until I make it into the second trimester. I'm a creature of routine and it has been shot to shit the last few weeks. I'm behind on everything. But that's trivial, and I don't need to worry about the little stuff right now.

Wow that was alot longer than I intended it to be!