Because honestly, I don't have much of anything positive to say. I've been in a never ending whirlwind of something new, and I just want a break from it all.
1. I'm tired of cleaning up dog shit. I could remedy that by taking the dog to the vet but that would constitute taking a shower and leaving the house.
2. I'm tired of listening to my husband bitch because he doesn't have any clean socks or underwear. He's 38, knows where the washing machine is, he isn't pregnant and is more than capable of doing his own laundry.
3. I'm also tired of husband bitching because I might have "accidentally" forgotten to check his dress pants pocket and missed a tube of chap stick that has now ruined them. The only thing I check pants for is money. Again, old enough and plenty capable of washing them himself.
4. I'm tired of feeling like my head is going to implode on itself every time I move.
5. I'm tired of coughing every 2 - 3 minutes which also makes head feel like it's going to implode.
6. I'm tired of taking pills to relieve the things that ail me.
7. I'm tired of gagging every time I take a pill.
8. I'm tired of feeling inadequate as a mother because I just don't have the energy to do the things I need to do with her.
9. I'm tired of leaving it up to my parents to take her because I never know when Matthew is going to be home.
10. I'm tired of cancelling play dates, and walks and doing things I want to do just because that would entail taking a shower and that just takes too much energy.
11. I'm tired of having no appetite. Eating has become as stressful for me as being a mom. I'm having a harder time eating now then when I was in the throes of morning sickness (which still hasn't COMPLETELY gone away either)
12. I'm tired of taking out my frustrations on everyone and everything around me. It's not fair for my husband, child and dog to suffer just because I am.
13. I'm tired of complaining but that's all I feel like I doing.
14. I'm tired of my house being a mess. (I know, I know...it's a minor thing but I'm a neat freak.)
15. I'm tired of listening to my husband bitch about the kitty litter that's on the floor. AGAIN, big boy knows where the vacuum is and is perfectly capable of doing it himself. I am after all the one who is cleaning the litter box out even though I'm not supposed to and he knows that.
16. I'm tired of getting an average of 5 hours of sleep a night. Yes, I'm fully aware that you aren't supposed to sleep good during pregnancy but at this point I should be at least comfortable enough to get some good hours. Not so much. I think the same person who hit me in the head with a sledgehammer must have thought it would be funny to hit me in the back too.
17. I'm tired of listening to my husband complain about having a sore neck because he needs a new pillow. Bite me, seriously, bite me.
18. I'm tired of crying at the drop of a pin. Damn hormones are sending me over the edge this time.
Ok I'm done bitching. And before you start thinking that my husband is an awful person, he's not. He's really not. He works really hard so that I don't have to, and I love him with all my heart for that. He also has a son that needs his attention just as much as we do. He just seems to be an easy target to take this out on. I read so many blogs where the husband is so hands on, and is a great dad and I'm not saying that Matthew isn't, he's just not around as much as I would like and about 90% of the time I feel like I'm raising her alone. Most weekends are spent doing things with his 13 year old son, and alot of nights he gets home late due to business meetings. So I am home with her alot, and that's why I send her off to my parents to spend the night so much because right now I just can't handle her by myself all the time. Tonight I cried when my dad said he was bringing her home because I was secretly hoping that she could stay one more night. How awful of a mom does that make me????
Secondly, I'm probably really emotional right now too because I started bleeding Friday night. Not heavy, and nothing that seems to be of any concern right now, but nevertheless when I noticed it Friday night it scared the shit out of me and I got about 0 hours of sleep. Per Dr's orders I am supposed to wear pads to track the amount, call them back if it gets heavy like a period or start cramping and do AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE. Now someone tell me how that's going to happen when I'm home alone with my child???? Matthew knows all of this too and I guess he's not as worried as me. Every little twinge I feel down there freaks me out, and all of a sudden in my head my brain is telling me that no appetite probably means I'm not pregnant anymore. I know, I know...things would be happening if that were the case. Right now I would give anything for a flutter, kick, anything to let me know that things are OK. I'm thinking he's probably going to call me tomorrow to come in, and if he does it will be the greatest thing to peak my mood, and if he doesn't I might just call them because I can't wait another two weeks to see what's going on.
So that's it for now. I promise the next post will be upbeat because I've been nominated by two lovely ladies for two special awards and I want to thank them for that.
**As of this morning, the bleeding appears to have stopped. Apparently the bitching gods were listening last night and decided to grant me some wishes because my neverending headache is a little better too. And it's taken me almost 30 minutes to eat a biscuit so I see all of that as a good sign. I called and left a message for the nurse at the Drs office letting her know things were better, so they may or may not want me to come in. And I THINK, THINK I might have felt a small flutter this morning when I was laying in bed. I'm sure it was probably a gas bubble because it's still sort of early, but hey a girl can dream right?? **
Sunday, September 23, 2007
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Attitude
Not much of a post, just something that I have to document.
Tonight Matthew did his nightly ritual of trying to get Ava to walk to him, the child just won't have any of it. He looked at her and told her that her baby brothers/baby sisters will be walking before she will.
Wanna know what she said? With her hand near her mouth and a smirk on her face, she uttered the word "whatever."
God she's more like me everyday.
Tonight Matthew did his nightly ritual of trying to get Ava to walk to him, the child just won't have any of it. He looked at her and told her that her baby brothers/baby sisters will be walking before she will.
Wanna know what she said? With her hand near her mouth and a smirk on her face, she uttered the word "whatever."
God she's more like me everyday.
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Brainfart = No title
I have been nominated for an award!! YAY, and that's next on my list, but I gotta get this out, because it's been one of those days.
First off, I feel like shit. Total and utter crap. Not the pukey kind, that's gone, the kind in the form of never ending snot, sneezing every 10 or so minutes, throat that feels like sandpaper kind of shit. And the one crappy thing about being pregnant is that I can't load myself up on Ny.Quil and other comatose causing drugs that I like to take. Am left with a choice of Bena.dryl (which I clearly have a tolerance for now), Sud.afed, which makes me jittery and a few other things I can't even remember. So you can imagine that since I got about 2 hours of sleep between the coughing, sneezing, stuffy head, fever that I COULD NOT REST without medicine, I was in rare form today.
So I had planned to go to the mall today to get something to wear for a wedding I'm going to tomorrow. Let's face it, things aren't fitting so hot these days. Too big to wear normal clothes, too small for maternity clothes. So I am going to try again to hit the mall tomorrow, and if I don't make it out, then I'm gonna throw on my Spa.nx and put on a little black dress that I have. I can already tell you what it's going to look like, and it won't be pretty.
Second of all, my house has been smelling like shit for about 3 days. Literally. I kept looking in corners, under things, anywhere thinking one of the pets, or even Ava had left me a little present somewhere. But even I am smart enough to know that the smell of pet shit does go away after a while. This was clearly getting worse. This afternoon my dad came to cut bushes and help weed my landscaping. I am not an outside gal, I don't mow, I don't weed, I don't plant flowers, in fact I'm pretty good at killing things. But my dad loves that crap so he came out to help. So as we walk in the house I mention to him about the smell, and it was at about this time that I slipped in something and almost fell on my ass. Yep you guessed it, my super awesome dog was at it again. Shit...all over my shoes, and now all over the floor. So my dad gets a plastic bag and starts helping me pick it up when he misses a spot and steps in it. So now we have dog shit tracked all over my kitchen floor. Nice. I swear my dog is trained. Won't pee in the house if I left him alone for 12 hours, but leave him alone for an hour? And he shits everywhere.
So that was still not the root of the smell. Matthew and I came home from dinner tonight, he went to the basement to go to the bathroom, and I went to the one upstairs (pregnant women = need to pee every 15 minutes). He starts screaming at me, I go downstairs, and there's sewer, and shit literally spraying all over our walls. We are on a septic system where I live, not sewer, so I guess maybe it's full??? I don't know, all I know is the room where the pump is now covered in icky brown goo, and who wants to bet that after we have someone come out and fix it I'll be the one on my hands and knees cleaning it up. And now I've been told by my husband that until we have someone come out here, no flushing toilets, no running water, etc. Gonna be an interesting day and night indeed. I thought moving into a new house meant that we wouldn't have problems like this. Big fat wrongo. In the 3 months we've been here, we've had a leaky toilet that ran into the basement, a broken air conditioner, and now shit flying on the walls.
So I'm off to try to medicate myself in any way possible. My gracious parents offered to keep Miss Priss tonight so I can catch some zzz's, or snot, or whatever.
First off, I feel like shit. Total and utter crap. Not the pukey kind, that's gone, the kind in the form of never ending snot, sneezing every 10 or so minutes, throat that feels like sandpaper kind of shit. And the one crappy thing about being pregnant is that I can't load myself up on Ny.Quil and other comatose causing drugs that I like to take. Am left with a choice of Bena.dryl (which I clearly have a tolerance for now), Sud.afed, which makes me jittery and a few other things I can't even remember. So you can imagine that since I got about 2 hours of sleep between the coughing, sneezing, stuffy head, fever that I COULD NOT REST without medicine, I was in rare form today.
So I had planned to go to the mall today to get something to wear for a wedding I'm going to tomorrow. Let's face it, things aren't fitting so hot these days. Too big to wear normal clothes, too small for maternity clothes. So I am going to try again to hit the mall tomorrow, and if I don't make it out, then I'm gonna throw on my Spa.nx and put on a little black dress that I have. I can already tell you what it's going to look like, and it won't be pretty.
Second of all, my house has been smelling like shit for about 3 days. Literally. I kept looking in corners, under things, anywhere thinking one of the pets, or even Ava had left me a little present somewhere. But even I am smart enough to know that the smell of pet shit does go away after a while. This was clearly getting worse. This afternoon my dad came to cut bushes and help weed my landscaping. I am not an outside gal, I don't mow, I don't weed, I don't plant flowers, in fact I'm pretty good at killing things. But my dad loves that crap so he came out to help. So as we walk in the house I mention to him about the smell, and it was at about this time that I slipped in something and almost fell on my ass. Yep you guessed it, my super awesome dog was at it again. Shit...all over my shoes, and now all over the floor. So my dad gets a plastic bag and starts helping me pick it up when he misses a spot and steps in it. So now we have dog shit tracked all over my kitchen floor. Nice. I swear my dog is trained. Won't pee in the house if I left him alone for 12 hours, but leave him alone for an hour? And he shits everywhere.
So that was still not the root of the smell. Matthew and I came home from dinner tonight, he went to the basement to go to the bathroom, and I went to the one upstairs (pregnant women = need to pee every 15 minutes). He starts screaming at me, I go downstairs, and there's sewer, and shit literally spraying all over our walls. We are on a septic system where I live, not sewer, so I guess maybe it's full??? I don't know, all I know is the room where the pump is now covered in icky brown goo, and who wants to bet that after we have someone come out and fix it I'll be the one on my hands and knees cleaning it up. And now I've been told by my husband that until we have someone come out here, no flushing toilets, no running water, etc. Gonna be an interesting day and night indeed. I thought moving into a new house meant that we wouldn't have problems like this. Big fat wrongo. In the 3 months we've been here, we've had a leaky toilet that ran into the basement, a broken air conditioner, and now shit flying on the walls.
So I'm off to try to medicate myself in any way possible. My gracious parents offered to keep Miss Priss tonight so I can catch some zzz's, or snot, or whatever.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Sweet Relief
Today has been a really good day. Not only have I NOT felt like I was going to throw up, but all of my fears were quickly calmed after a good visit at the doctor. You gotta love my doctor. As soon as he opens the door and sees Matthew and I sitting there, he just starts giggling. It's as if he knows exactly how to break the ice.
I was fully expecting the Doppler today to hear the heartbeats, but we got to do better than that. He decided that since Matthew was with me today, he wanted to take a "peak" inside and check. This delighted me, and also scared the living shit out of me. Any of you that have children can probably relate that until you hear that heartbeat for the very first time, there is a small part of you that thinks that something could be wrong. And with me carrying twins, the chances automatically go up. And it probably doesn't help that I've spent countless hours on Dr. Google this week making me think things could be really bad. But to our delight, these babies decided that this afternoon was a great time to put on a show. They were not only moving, they were bouncing all over the place. It's as if they were using my uterus as their own personal trampoline. Both of them, moving, heartbeats going strong. I've never been so happy and relieved. It's just so bizarre to look and see what's going on INSIDE of you, especially since they are still so small but so active, yet you can't feel a thing. Matthew was beside himself. We saw faces, legs, arms flailing, really just a beautiful site. So right now all is good. We go back in 4 weeks but we probably will NOT find out the sex until 20 weeks. Totally bummed, but I'll survive.
On a totally unrelated note, Ava got a baby doll many many months ago, and until today has not so much as peeked in it's direction. Today on the other hand, has been carrying that thing all over, saying baby, baby, baby, giving me the baby and them crawling up on my lap. I just wonder if she suspects something is up?????
I was fully expecting the Doppler today to hear the heartbeats, but we got to do better than that. He decided that since Matthew was with me today, he wanted to take a "peak" inside and check. This delighted me, and also scared the living shit out of me. Any of you that have children can probably relate that until you hear that heartbeat for the very first time, there is a small part of you that thinks that something could be wrong. And with me carrying twins, the chances automatically go up. And it probably doesn't help that I've spent countless hours on Dr. Google this week making me think things could be really bad. But to our delight, these babies decided that this afternoon was a great time to put on a show. They were not only moving, they were bouncing all over the place. It's as if they were using my uterus as their own personal trampoline. Both of them, moving, heartbeats going strong. I've never been so happy and relieved. It's just so bizarre to look and see what's going on INSIDE of you, especially since they are still so small but so active, yet you can't feel a thing. Matthew was beside himself. We saw faces, legs, arms flailing, really just a beautiful site. So right now all is good. We go back in 4 weeks but we probably will NOT find out the sex until 20 weeks. Totally bummed, but I'll survive.
On a totally unrelated note, Ava got a baby doll many many months ago, and until today has not so much as peeked in it's direction. Today on the other hand, has been carrying that thing all over, saying baby, baby, baby, giving me the baby and them crawling up on my lap. I just wonder if she suspects something is up?????
Saturday, September 08, 2007
Ticker
Does everyone see my ticker? Do ya, do ya?? See how it says I'm 12 weeks? Does that mean that this hell that they call the first trimester is coming to an end?? Lord I hope so.
My next appointment is Tuesday, and I am literally counting down the hours. I'm telling myself that all is well, but as you know nothing is as great as hearing that hearbeat, or heartbeats for the very first time. I probably won't sleep much until then.
I promise I do have a worthy post to write, but since no one's around on the weekends I know you can wait until Monday to read it.
Oh and I have the funniest video of Ava to put on, but lo and hehold Blogger is being a pain in the ass and it won't upload, so maybe I'll save that for a rainy day.
My next appointment is Tuesday, and I am literally counting down the hours. I'm telling myself that all is well, but as you know nothing is as great as hearing that hearbeat, or heartbeats for the very first time. I probably won't sleep much until then.
I promise I do have a worthy post to write, but since no one's around on the weekends I know you can wait until Monday to read it.
Oh and I have the funniest video of Ava to put on, but lo and hehold Blogger is being a pain in the ass and it won't upload, so maybe I'll save that for a rainy day.
Friday, August 31, 2007
17 months, and pictures for your viewing pleasure
So my little precious Ava turned 17 months on Monday, so I'm a few days late getting to this. As usual this one is more for me than you, cuz I'd rather type than write in the baby book. And it's easier to type and eat popcorn than it is to write and eat popcorn.
This child is seriously wearing me out, but at the same time I'm having a total blast watching her change and grow on a daily basis. I swear to you she can crawl faster than some kids walk. Her knees are constantly black and calloused and I'm just waiting for her to literally just get up and run from me. Skip walking, go straight to running, do not pass GO, do not collect any money. But bless her heart she is TRYING so hard to walk. She just can't get the right balance and it frustrates her to no end. She stands up tries to take a step and then just falls down in a fit of tears, and it totally breaks my heart. So in an effort we do lots of finger walking, and she seems okay with that.
Vocally? She's a pro. Yep I'm gonna brag a bit. The child has over 30 words, too many that I honestly can't even count them all. New ones this month are below. And she actually knows what she's talking about when she says them, or at least I think she does.
Shoe
Socks
Toe (says it while she takes a grab at my big toe)
Too bash (tooth brush)
Dink (drink)
Keys (obsessively points to key rack and yells until I give her the exact ones she wants)
Ban-tet (blanket - she has two that MUST go with us everywhere)
Pre-tty (sounds just like that, two very pronounced syllables. Points to herself in the mirror and says it, no idea where she learned that one)
Cute (pronounced more like cuuuuute - again, repeated when glancing at self in mirror, also repeated anytime I pull clothes out of her closet)
Too-tie (cookie - the person who taught her this needs to be punished. She's not stupid, she knows the difference between a cookie and a cracker.)
Mom (not really a new word, but I'm no longer mama. I'm flat out mom. Sounds so weird coming from a toddler)
Please and thank you (peas and dank ou - I'll take what I can get)
I think that's it, she's very good at repeating after us, but these are daily words around here.
I know I've mentioned it before but the child can and will climb on anything. Evidence below. And these are bar stools, so technically a little taller than a normal chair, and yes I took away the hand sanitizer from her before she could eat it.
She's a pro at undressing herself:
She has great organization skills (I did have this drawer insanely organized. You can see that she definitely does not have my OCD problem)
And she loves to get herself in challenging and difficult positions. Any one else think she needs to start some sort of gymnastics??
I just love this child more and more each day, and the thought of sharing her and not being able to focus all my time on her is terrifying and overwhelming. But there will also be a day when I look over and she's desperately trying to teach the twins something new, and I know my heart will burst with pride.
As for me, the past two days have been a nightmare. Everytime I think that I'm getting over this pukey crap, I have a setback. Yeah I know I'm "technically" still in the first trimester, and the second one can't come soon enough. I guess deep down I'm thankful that I'm feeling bad, because most of my other symptoms have all but gone away. Except for the peeing...every hour, which keeps me from sleeping which in turn makes me a bitter hag. I feel like a pill factory. I'm taking 2 Zo.fran a day, Tu.ms after almost every meal, and at night I'm usually taking Bena.dryl and a few times I've even taken Dram.amine. I can't sleep without them. When I was pregnant with Ava I think I took Tyl.enol MAYBE 2 times the entire pregnancy and that was it. I just can't do it this time. IAnd I'm praying that even though what I'm taking is considered safe, that my babies are able to come out alright. Oh and I'm also only taking Flinst.one Vitamins at this point. My doctor said it was okay, even though I still feel like I'm cheating myself. But they taste a heck of a lot better than regurgitated prenatals. Trust me.
This child is seriously wearing me out, but at the same time I'm having a total blast watching her change and grow on a daily basis. I swear to you she can crawl faster than some kids walk. Her knees are constantly black and calloused and I'm just waiting for her to literally just get up and run from me. Skip walking, go straight to running, do not pass GO, do not collect any money. But bless her heart she is TRYING so hard to walk. She just can't get the right balance and it frustrates her to no end. She stands up tries to take a step and then just falls down in a fit of tears, and it totally breaks my heart. So in an effort we do lots of finger walking, and she seems okay with that.
Vocally? She's a pro. Yep I'm gonna brag a bit. The child has over 30 words, too many that I honestly can't even count them all. New ones this month are below. And she actually knows what she's talking about when she says them, or at least I think she does.
Shoe
Socks
Toe (says it while she takes a grab at my big toe)
Too bash (tooth brush)
Dink (drink)
Keys (obsessively points to key rack and yells until I give her the exact ones she wants)
Ban-tet (blanket - she has two that MUST go with us everywhere)
Pre-tty (sounds just like that, two very pronounced syllables. Points to herself in the mirror and says it, no idea where she learned that one)
Cute (pronounced more like cuuuuute - again, repeated when glancing at self in mirror, also repeated anytime I pull clothes out of her closet)
Too-tie (cookie - the person who taught her this needs to be punished. She's not stupid, she knows the difference between a cookie and a cracker.)
Mom (not really a new word, but I'm no longer mama. I'm flat out mom. Sounds so weird coming from a toddler)
Please and thank you (peas and dank ou - I'll take what I can get)
I think that's it, she's very good at repeating after us, but these are daily words around here.
I know I've mentioned it before but the child can and will climb on anything. Evidence below. And these are bar stools, so technically a little taller than a normal chair, and yes I took away the hand sanitizer from her before she could eat it.
She's a pro at undressing herself:
She has great organization skills (I did have this drawer insanely organized. You can see that she definitely does not have my OCD problem)
And she loves to get herself in challenging and difficult positions. Any one else think she needs to start some sort of gymnastics??
I just love this child more and more each day, and the thought of sharing her and not being able to focus all my time on her is terrifying and overwhelming. But there will also be a day when I look over and she's desperately trying to teach the twins something new, and I know my heart will burst with pride.
As for me, the past two days have been a nightmare. Everytime I think that I'm getting over this pukey crap, I have a setback. Yeah I know I'm "technically" still in the first trimester, and the second one can't come soon enough. I guess deep down I'm thankful that I'm feeling bad, because most of my other symptoms have all but gone away. Except for the peeing...every hour, which keeps me from sleeping which in turn makes me a bitter hag. I feel like a pill factory. I'm taking 2 Zo.fran a day, Tu.ms after almost every meal, and at night I'm usually taking Bena.dryl and a few times I've even taken Dram.amine. I can't sleep without them. When I was pregnant with Ava I think I took Tyl.enol MAYBE 2 times the entire pregnancy and that was it. I just can't do it this time. IAnd I'm praying that even though what I'm taking is considered safe, that my babies are able to come out alright. Oh and I'm also only taking Flinst.one Vitamins at this point. My doctor said it was okay, even though I still feel like I'm cheating myself. But they taste a heck of a lot better than regurgitated prenatals. Trust me.
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Knocking on Wood
Oh I'm knocking hard today. I have felt better today than I have the whole pregnancy. The last week as a whole has been pretty good with a few bad moments here and there, but I am desperately hoping this is the beginning of the end of the morning/noon/night/wee hours sickness. I should have known I was feeling better as my shopping bill this morning was well over $200. OUCH. And knowing the way I have been eating lately, that won't last me the week.
So just for my record, here's the latest on my cravings. I didn't really have any with Ava, I craved everything and that was that.
Chili dogs
Orange juice - oh sweet, sweet orange juice. I'm not usually a big fan, probably haven't bought any in 3 years.
Smart.food White Cheddar Popcorn - as evidence I have already eaten the entire bag, which consisted of a whopping 60 grams of fat.
Little De.bbie Snacks - any of them, all of them. Anything with chocolate is good, with chocolate and peanut butter even better!
At least the OJ is healthy right, RIGHT????
So just for my record, here's the latest on my cravings. I didn't really have any with Ava, I craved everything and that was that.
Chili dogs
Orange juice - oh sweet, sweet orange juice. I'm not usually a big fan, probably haven't bought any in 3 years.
Smart.food White Cheddar Popcorn - as evidence I have already eaten the entire bag, which consisted of a whopping 60 grams of fat.
Little De.bbie Snacks - any of them, all of them. Anything with chocolate is good, with chocolate and peanut butter even better!
At least the OJ is healthy right, RIGHT????
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Hurricane Ava
Please tell me that your playrooms/areas look like this. Maybe it's just my OCD but this drives me bonkers. I've given up straightening every day. And the poor child slips and falls all the time. The purpose of the letter mat was to give her something to play on, but of course she has more fun tearing everything apart!
Monday, August 20, 2007
The office visit that forever changed our lives
Okay I have about 5 minutes to get this post out or I'll be forced for the umpteenth (is that a word??) time to pick up all the rocks that the she child has taken out of the fireplace and thrown on the floor.
Obviously you all now know the news. Wanna know something else? Did ya know that it's only a 1 in 80 chance of conceiving twins naturally, and it doesn't have to run in your family to do so?? Because I didn't. Just some information that they might want to throw out there.
So as you know I already had an ultrasound at 6 weeks when I went in to complain about how crappy I had been feeling. My doctor had mentioned at that appointment that he might want to take another look at 8 weeks, just to get a better idea of size, date etc. But honestly I didn't really think I'd have another one until 20 weeks. But here's one thing about my doctor. He's VERY conservative when it comes to ultrasounds. When I was pregnant with Ava, they weren't able to give me a 100% positive ID on the gender, so he kept telling me that he would order another one, blah blah blah and it never happened, so I was honestly shocked when he came in last week and was very adamant about having another one. He even offered to call the insurance company and talk to them if they had a problem with it. I should have known right then and there that he was looking for something. Apparently he must have seen two at the 6 week mark but refrained from saying anything to me until he could be sure everything was okay.
So I'm laying there all exposed, and as soon as that wand went in I saw something different than the last time, but of course I had no idea about the shock that I was about to receive. Basically the conversation went like this:
Dr: (while patting me on the leg and giving me a shit eating grin) I just need you to take lots of deep breaths and relax.
Me: Umm, okay is there something wrong? You're kinda freaking me out.
A couple clicks of the buttons and a loooong pause
Dr: First baby looks great!
Me: Excuse me, first baby?? There's only supposed to be one!
Dr: You didn't know you were having twins? Chuckle, chuckle
Me: That's not possible! They don't run in either of our families. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my GAWD.
Dr: Well it's only a 1 in 80 chance that couples conceive twins naturally. It doesn't have to run in the family. How's that for a surprise pregnancy!
Me: Holy shit! I guess it's a good thing my husband didn't make it to the appointment with me today. You all would have had to wheel him out of here on a stretcher.
Dr: I think it's a pretty good idea if you go home and make him a stiff drink.
Yep I totally said holy shit in front of my Dr. and his nurse. It's a good thing I already have a pretty good relationship with him. I've never seen him smile or laugh so much. I'm glad I could amuse him so much.
So as of last Tuesday one measured 8 weeks 2 days, and the other 8 weeks 3 days so apparently that's great. I don't go back until next month and I'm going to be a nervous wreck until then. As of right now my due date is March 22, but his goal is to get me to 36 weeks so these babies will probably be here in February and not March. I have so many emotions going on right now. I'm TERRIFIED, I'm excited, I'm nervous, I cry almost every day wondering how in the world I'm going to handle this. How are we going to afford 3 children in college at the same time or 3 weddings if these are 2 girls. How am I going to have the energy and the time to take care of Ava when these babies will demand my every moment. I'm so scared that she will get/feel left out, and I NEVER for a minute want her to think that I love them more than her. She is my baby, my first born, and she has a place in my heart that can never be replaced. On the flip side I'm so excited to see her as a big sister, to see all three of these children grow up together, to watch them fight, to watch them laugh and cry together. Everyone around me thinks it is the coolest thing, and some of them have even told me they are jealous. It is cool. I mean not alot of people get to go through what I am getting ready to go through. I just have to pray and know that this happened for a reason. I almost think that this is God's way of giving back to my parents, who struggled with infertility for 6 years before they gave up and decided on adoption. This is his way of taking care of them, because they have done the best humanly job of taking care of me. I'm so excited that I'm able to give them their first, and possibly only grandchildren. And in the end I know it will be okay. We have a new house with plenty of room, and plenty of love to give. And I possibly have the greatest family in the world to help out. My parents are already talking about slumber parties with all three.
In other news, Ava's still not walking, but lord is so close it drives me crazy. And she crawls on anything/everything, and is becoming more of a handful every day. Her vocabulary is exploding, she repeats almost everything that we say to her, single words of course, and is getting better about telling us what she wants. We have to keep her clothed at all times, because she knows how to get the diaper off, and I have been known to find little presents through out the house. She laughs all the time, loves music and will dance and bop her head for hours if we let her. She has been really clingy lately, I'm sure it's probably because she senses something's different with me. Let's face it. She's basically getting whatever she wants, primarily because right now I'm too exhausted and sick to deal with her tantrums. I'm doing the best I can, and I know it will come back to bite me in the ass one day, but right now I just can't handle listening to the constant whining. I know it will get better and I'm counting down the days until I make it into the second trimester. I'm a creature of routine and it has been shot to shit the last few weeks. I'm behind on everything. But that's trivial, and I don't need to worry about the little stuff right now.
Wow that was alot longer than I intended it to be!
Obviously you all now know the news. Wanna know something else? Did ya know that it's only a 1 in 80 chance of conceiving twins naturally, and it doesn't have to run in your family to do so?? Because I didn't. Just some information that they might want to throw out there.
So as you know I already had an ultrasound at 6 weeks when I went in to complain about how crappy I had been feeling. My doctor had mentioned at that appointment that he might want to take another look at 8 weeks, just to get a better idea of size, date etc. But honestly I didn't really think I'd have another one until 20 weeks. But here's one thing about my doctor. He's VERY conservative when it comes to ultrasounds. When I was pregnant with Ava, they weren't able to give me a 100% positive ID on the gender, so he kept telling me that he would order another one, blah blah blah and it never happened, so I was honestly shocked when he came in last week and was very adamant about having another one. He even offered to call the insurance company and talk to them if they had a problem with it. I should have known right then and there that he was looking for something. Apparently he must have seen two at the 6 week mark but refrained from saying anything to me until he could be sure everything was okay.
So I'm laying there all exposed, and as soon as that wand went in I saw something different than the last time, but of course I had no idea about the shock that I was about to receive. Basically the conversation went like this:
Dr: (while patting me on the leg and giving me a shit eating grin) I just need you to take lots of deep breaths and relax.
Me: Umm, okay is there something wrong? You're kinda freaking me out.
A couple clicks of the buttons and a loooong pause
Dr: First baby looks great!
Me: Excuse me, first baby?? There's only supposed to be one!
Dr: You didn't know you were having twins? Chuckle, chuckle
Me: That's not possible! They don't run in either of our families. Oh my god, oh my god, oh my GAWD.
Dr: Well it's only a 1 in 80 chance that couples conceive twins naturally. It doesn't have to run in the family. How's that for a surprise pregnancy!
Me: Holy shit! I guess it's a good thing my husband didn't make it to the appointment with me today. You all would have had to wheel him out of here on a stretcher.
Dr: I think it's a pretty good idea if you go home and make him a stiff drink.
Yep I totally said holy shit in front of my Dr. and his nurse. It's a good thing I already have a pretty good relationship with him. I've never seen him smile or laugh so much. I'm glad I could amuse him so much.
So as of last Tuesday one measured 8 weeks 2 days, and the other 8 weeks 3 days so apparently that's great. I don't go back until next month and I'm going to be a nervous wreck until then. As of right now my due date is March 22, but his goal is to get me to 36 weeks so these babies will probably be here in February and not March. I have so many emotions going on right now. I'm TERRIFIED, I'm excited, I'm nervous, I cry almost every day wondering how in the world I'm going to handle this. How are we going to afford 3 children in college at the same time or 3 weddings if these are 2 girls. How am I going to have the energy and the time to take care of Ava when these babies will demand my every moment. I'm so scared that she will get/feel left out, and I NEVER for a minute want her to think that I love them more than her. She is my baby, my first born, and she has a place in my heart that can never be replaced. On the flip side I'm so excited to see her as a big sister, to see all three of these children grow up together, to watch them fight, to watch them laugh and cry together. Everyone around me thinks it is the coolest thing, and some of them have even told me they are jealous. It is cool. I mean not alot of people get to go through what I am getting ready to go through. I just have to pray and know that this happened for a reason. I almost think that this is God's way of giving back to my parents, who struggled with infertility for 6 years before they gave up and decided on adoption. This is his way of taking care of them, because they have done the best humanly job of taking care of me. I'm so excited that I'm able to give them their first, and possibly only grandchildren. And in the end I know it will be okay. We have a new house with plenty of room, and plenty of love to give. And I possibly have the greatest family in the world to help out. My parents are already talking about slumber parties with all three.
In other news, Ava's still not walking, but lord is so close it drives me crazy. And she crawls on anything/everything, and is becoming more of a handful every day. Her vocabulary is exploding, she repeats almost everything that we say to her, single words of course, and is getting better about telling us what she wants. We have to keep her clothed at all times, because she knows how to get the diaper off, and I have been known to find little presents through out the house. She laughs all the time, loves music and will dance and bop her head for hours if we let her. She has been really clingy lately, I'm sure it's probably because she senses something's different with me. Let's face it. She's basically getting whatever she wants, primarily because right now I'm too exhausted and sick to deal with her tantrums. I'm doing the best I can, and I know it will come back to bite me in the ass one day, but right now I just can't handle listening to the constant whining. I know it will get better and I'm counting down the days until I make it into the second trimester. I'm a creature of routine and it has been shot to shit the last few weeks. I'm behind on everything. But that's trivial, and I don't need to worry about the little stuff right now.
Wow that was alot longer than I intended it to be!
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Wordless Wednesday
Apparently Mr. Sippy cup's lid was not on tight enough. And I have no idea how that kleenex got in there...
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Mumbo Jumbo
I had no idea it had been almost 2 weeks since I posted, it's probably been the longest 2 weeks of my life. This pregnancy is literally kicking my ass, but the good news is that it seems to be getting a little better, and the only way to go from here is up. This post is probably going to be a jumbled mess of thoughts, but that's about the best I got for now.
I started on the Phene.gren on July, 20 almost immediately after I found out I was pregnant. I realized pretty quickly that it wasn't helping, in fact it felt like it was making me feel worse. I suffered on that for a week until I called back, and all but begged for something else. They called in Zofr.an, which I now must recognize as the greatest drug on earth. Seriously. It's $50 a pill and if my insurance wouldn't have paid for it, I would have. I didn't care what the cost, I just wanted to feel normal, or halfway normal. I wanted to be able to hold, feed, change, and play with my daughter without feeling like I constantly needed to run to the bathroom. The feeling was constant. I was miserable from the time my feet hit the floor until I actually fell asleep at night. I didn't want to have to medicate myself during pregnancy, especially during the first trimester but I literally didn't think I would make it without it. Alot of it has to do with my anxiety disorder, which I'll go into at a later date, and they say that if the benefits of taking medication outweigh the risks, then do it. The first day on the new medicine was unbelievable. I couldn't believe the difference. Then the second day hit, July 29, and I don't know if I just had an off day or what, but that was the worse day I've had so far. I almost passed out, literally, and it scared the living crap out of me. And more so because one of my episodes happened in the car, on the way home from church with Ava in the backseat. Somehow, by the shear grace of God I made it through the day and I called the doctor first thing Monday morning. By this point I was feeling alot better, but they wanted to schedule me for an early appointment anyways. So, on Tuesday of that week I went in, talked to the doc about everything that has been going on. I was prescribed enough Zof.ran to last 6 months, and a new prenatal, Premesis. That in itself has helped wonders too. the good thing, it's not a horse pill like most of them are. He also went ahead and did an ultrasound just to be safe, and I got a glimpse, albeit small, of my new baby and for a minute all was right again. According to that my due date is March 25, but I have to go back next Tuesday for another ultrasound and I think at that point they will change it. He's basing that on a conception date of July 2 , and it didn't happen then. I can guarantee it.
I had also forgotten how much you have to eat. I never thought I would say this but I am so.sick.of.eating. The difference this time is that I crave nothing, and have aversions to everything. Nothing ever sounds good, and if it does I usually put the food in my mouth, chew a few bites and promptly spit it out. I did not have that problem when I was pregnant with Ava. I ate everything, and I wanted to eat everything. This time I'm eating out of necessity, not out of want. But I know I have to keep food in this belly to keep the nausea at bay. I've eaten a shit ton of Popsicles, and popcorn. I'm really trying to eat healthy, but at the same time right now I'm just eating what I think will stay down. So far so good. But sometimes it is a struggle. Nights are worse than mornings, which is also interfering with my much needed sleep.
Matthew and my parents have been absolute life savers, especially during my really bad week. I literally couldn't get off my butt that week except to eat and go to the bathroom. I didn't even leave the house. I think I showered but how many times, I have no idea. I know I have done alot of bitching over the last three weeks, and god bless them for doing whatever I needed them to do without saying a word.
I know that I still have a long way to go, but just seeing our little blob on the screen last week makes it more than worth it And I know I can get through it. I may just bitch along the way.
I started on the Phene.gren on July, 20 almost immediately after I found out I was pregnant. I realized pretty quickly that it wasn't helping, in fact it felt like it was making me feel worse. I suffered on that for a week until I called back, and all but begged for something else. They called in Zofr.an, which I now must recognize as the greatest drug on earth. Seriously. It's $50 a pill and if my insurance wouldn't have paid for it, I would have. I didn't care what the cost, I just wanted to feel normal, or halfway normal. I wanted to be able to hold, feed, change, and play with my daughter without feeling like I constantly needed to run to the bathroom. The feeling was constant. I was miserable from the time my feet hit the floor until I actually fell asleep at night. I didn't want to have to medicate myself during pregnancy, especially during the first trimester but I literally didn't think I would make it without it. Alot of it has to do with my anxiety disorder, which I'll go into at a later date, and they say that if the benefits of taking medication outweigh the risks, then do it. The first day on the new medicine was unbelievable. I couldn't believe the difference. Then the second day hit, July 29, and I don't know if I just had an off day or what, but that was the worse day I've had so far. I almost passed out, literally, and it scared the living crap out of me. And more so because one of my episodes happened in the car, on the way home from church with Ava in the backseat. Somehow, by the shear grace of God I made it through the day and I called the doctor first thing Monday morning. By this point I was feeling alot better, but they wanted to schedule me for an early appointment anyways. So, on Tuesday of that week I went in, talked to the doc about everything that has been going on. I was prescribed enough Zof.ran to last 6 months, and a new prenatal, Premesis. That in itself has helped wonders too. the good thing, it's not a horse pill like most of them are. He also went ahead and did an ultrasound just to be safe, and I got a glimpse, albeit small, of my new baby and for a minute all was right again. According to that my due date is March 25, but I have to go back next Tuesday for another ultrasound and I think at that point they will change it. He's basing that on a conception date of July 2 , and it didn't happen then. I can guarantee it.
I had also forgotten how much you have to eat. I never thought I would say this but I am so.sick.of.eating. The difference this time is that I crave nothing, and have aversions to everything. Nothing ever sounds good, and if it does I usually put the food in my mouth, chew a few bites and promptly spit it out. I did not have that problem when I was pregnant with Ava. I ate everything, and I wanted to eat everything. This time I'm eating out of necessity, not out of want. But I know I have to keep food in this belly to keep the nausea at bay. I've eaten a shit ton of Popsicles, and popcorn. I'm really trying to eat healthy, but at the same time right now I'm just eating what I think will stay down. So far so good. But sometimes it is a struggle. Nights are worse than mornings, which is also interfering with my much needed sleep.
Matthew and my parents have been absolute life savers, especially during my really bad week. I literally couldn't get off my butt that week except to eat and go to the bathroom. I didn't even leave the house. I think I showered but how many times, I have no idea. I know I have done alot of bitching over the last three weeks, and god bless them for doing whatever I needed them to do without saying a word.
I know that I still have a long way to go, but just seeing our little blob on the screen last week makes it more than worth it And I know I can get through it. I may just bitch along the way.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Blogger Award
I have been nominated but not one, but two young ladies for the Rockin Blogger Award, and I promise to get my post together with my nominations as soon as I can. Thank you Connie and Whitney for the honor! (I'm too lazy right now to insert links)
I am currently holed up on the couch, trying not to move unless absolutely necessary. I do not remember feeling this bad at all when I was pregnant with Ava. I managed to get Phenergen from the Dr., but I'm either really sick this time or it doesn't work on me like it used to. It's keeping me from throwing up, but not keeping me from feeling like I'm gonna. My poor child is suffering too from the lack of attention from mama. I feel horrible, so to make it up to her I'm letting her watch hours and hours of Dora, The Backyardigans, Blue's Clues, anyhing so I can sneak in a few extra moments where I don't have to move and chase after her. And yesterday?? The dog pooped on the floor and I just left it there for a while. Gross, I know. But I thought I had less of a chance from throwing up if it at least had hardened a bit.
When I was pregnant with Ava, I was sick to my stomach alot, but as soon as I ate I was fine, and I ate ALOT. Hence the enormous weight gain. Now, no food is safe, no food tastes good, and if I make a wrong decision in a food choice I end up paying for it dearly for the rest of the afternoon. Today's culprit - Lemonade from Chick - Fil - A.
Be back ASAP...
I am currently holed up on the couch, trying not to move unless absolutely necessary. I do not remember feeling this bad at all when I was pregnant with Ava. I managed to get Phenergen from the Dr., but I'm either really sick this time or it doesn't work on me like it used to. It's keeping me from throwing up, but not keeping me from feeling like I'm gonna. My poor child is suffering too from the lack of attention from mama. I feel horrible, so to make it up to her I'm letting her watch hours and hours of Dora, The Backyardigans, Blue's Clues, anyhing so I can sneak in a few extra moments where I don't have to move and chase after her. And yesterday?? The dog pooped on the floor and I just left it there for a while. Gross, I know. But I thought I had less of a chance from throwing up if it at least had hardened a bit.
When I was pregnant with Ava, I was sick to my stomach alot, but as soon as I ate I was fine, and I ate ALOT. Hence the enormous weight gain. Now, no food is safe, no food tastes good, and if I make a wrong decision in a food choice I end up paying for it dearly for the rest of the afternoon. Today's culprit - Lemonade from Chick - Fil - A.
Be back ASAP...
Friday, July 20, 2007
The Fun Begins
The following things have made me gag today:
1. The smell of my dog's breath (although on a given day I would gag but today was especially worse)
2. The smell of my deodorant. But I'd rather smell and gag at my deodorant than the smell that would occur if I didn't wear any.
3. My daughter's sippy cup. I thought it had water in it, but forgot that it was water mixed with pear juice. It took me a while to get over that one.
4. A dryer sheet.
5. The first bite I took of my potato soup from Rafferty's. Normally a favorite of mine, but the first bite had a big piece of bacon fat in it and from there it was history.
So things seem to be moving right along. My vitamin seems to be the main source of my problem right now. I had them a while ago, but I hadn't started taking them until this week and this old body of mine isn't tolerating it. I'm giving it a week before I try something else.
U/S set for August 8th, so I hope to know alot more then.
1. The smell of my dog's breath (although on a given day I would gag but today was especially worse)
2. The smell of my deodorant. But I'd rather smell and gag at my deodorant than the smell that would occur if I didn't wear any.
3. My daughter's sippy cup. I thought it had water in it, but forgot that it was water mixed with pear juice. It took me a while to get over that one.
4. A dryer sheet.
5. The first bite I took of my potato soup from Rafferty's. Normally a favorite of mine, but the first bite had a big piece of bacon fat in it and from there it was history.
So things seem to be moving right along. My vitamin seems to be the main source of my problem right now. I had them a while ago, but I hadn't started taking them until this week and this old body of mine isn't tolerating it. I'm giving it a week before I try something else.
U/S set for August 8th, so I hope to know alot more then.
Thursday, July 19, 2007
Part 2: The Irony of it All
Before I go any further, I hope that you all don't think that this is something I didn't want. It is, it always has been, it's just the manner and the timing threw me way off. Although I shouldn't have been too surprised. I mean I haven't been on the pill since January and any time the fornicating (yep I really did use that word) happens you run the risk, and for us it wasn't a risk, it was something we wanted. The problem is that the fornicating happens few and far between here right now, and we had discussed "trying" starting in September. And by "trying" I mean ovulation kits and counting cycle days, calls to home for a lunch meeting and whatnot. I even had called Matthew earlier in the day to ask him the last time it happened because it felt like it had been forever. In fact it last happened the day after I got off my period. I was always under the impression that most women ovulated between 12 - 14 days after their period, and while this is true, I am now living proof that it also can happen at ANY time.
So let me back up. On Saturday of last week I noticed I wasn't feeling all that hot. No big deal, it was time for me to start and I usually feel pretty crappy right before hand anyways. Then Sunday came, Monday, then Tuesday and I started thinking that I was late. I'm NEVER late. Even when I'm off the pill my cycle is like clockwork. On Wednesday I decided to go ahead and take a test after something that happened at lunch. All of a sudden I got a wave of nausea, and all I could smell was milk, and there was no milk in sight. I'm sure you think I'm crazy but the last time I was pregnant my scent was heightened to a degree I didn't know existed. Anything that remotely had a strong smell had to leave the house. Walking past Bath and Body Works would almost send me running straight for the bathroom. So I had to run out to the store to get some other things anyways and decided to pick some up. If nothing else, I would have some for later months. I came home, decided then was as good a time as any to pee on the stick, Ava was happily watching Baby Einstein so I did it. I fully expected for it to skip over the first line and go straight to the not pregnant line. Not only did it not do that, the pregnancy line popped up in less than 30 seconds. My jaw hit the floor, I started shaking, crying and immediately ran to call Matthew who is in Florida for the week. He, like I, was shocked but I could tell from the sound of his voice he was happy and wanted to be here with me, not in Florida where he was.
And now that I have you on the edge of your seat, here comes the most ironic part. It was 2 years ago yesterday...to the day...that I found out I was pregnant with Ava. That is the part that got me. It is going to continue to blow my mind. Of course when I found out I was pregnant with Ava I hadn't even missed a period yet, I was like a kid in a candy store dying to know if it I was. So by all accounts, hoping that things go well, this baby will be here sometime around March 24, 2008. My birthday is March 23, and Ava's is March 27, so it looks like we will have our hands full with birthdays but how much fun will that be! I go to the doctor next month for an U/S so I'll have a better due date then. And who knows, if it's another girl we will have everything we need. And if it's a boy, then I'll have even more fun shopping all over again!
We have decided to keep this a secret for right now except for a few people (and the entire internet of course). I am dying to tell my parents but I want to wait until Matthew gets home on Sunday so we can do it together. I'm waiting to tell my close circle of friends, because one of them suffered a miscarriage last week and now is just not the time to talk about it with her. I did however go to the pool with another friend of mine today who secretly told me she's pregnant, so I went ahead and told her about me. It will be fun to have a friend here to be pregnant with. But she's also friends with the other girl so we were in agreement that this will be our secret for now. She's taking the miscarriage very hard.
Now that I've had time for it to set in, I'm excited, this baby is very much wanted and will be loved unconditionally. And although it is coming sooner that I had expected, I feel very fortunate that I am able to experience this journey again. I feel blessed that this is the next challenge that God has granted us, and that just means I will be able to hold this baby a few months sooner than I had ever dreamed. And I absolutely CANNOT wait to see Ava as a big sister.
So hop on board, this is sure to be a wild ride.
So let me back up. On Saturday of last week I noticed I wasn't feeling all that hot. No big deal, it was time for me to start and I usually feel pretty crappy right before hand anyways. Then Sunday came, Monday, then Tuesday and I started thinking that I was late. I'm NEVER late. Even when I'm off the pill my cycle is like clockwork. On Wednesday I decided to go ahead and take a test after something that happened at lunch. All of a sudden I got a wave of nausea, and all I could smell was milk, and there was no milk in sight. I'm sure you think I'm crazy but the last time I was pregnant my scent was heightened to a degree I didn't know existed. Anything that remotely had a strong smell had to leave the house. Walking past Bath and Body Works would almost send me running straight for the bathroom. So I had to run out to the store to get some other things anyways and decided to pick some up. If nothing else, I would have some for later months. I came home, decided then was as good a time as any to pee on the stick, Ava was happily watching Baby Einstein so I did it. I fully expected for it to skip over the first line and go straight to the not pregnant line. Not only did it not do that, the pregnancy line popped up in less than 30 seconds. My jaw hit the floor, I started shaking, crying and immediately ran to call Matthew who is in Florida for the week. He, like I, was shocked but I could tell from the sound of his voice he was happy and wanted to be here with me, not in Florida where he was.
And now that I have you on the edge of your seat, here comes the most ironic part. It was 2 years ago yesterday...to the day...that I found out I was pregnant with Ava. That is the part that got me. It is going to continue to blow my mind. Of course when I found out I was pregnant with Ava I hadn't even missed a period yet, I was like a kid in a candy store dying to know if it I was. So by all accounts, hoping that things go well, this baby will be here sometime around March 24, 2008. My birthday is March 23, and Ava's is March 27, so it looks like we will have our hands full with birthdays but how much fun will that be! I go to the doctor next month for an U/S so I'll have a better due date then. And who knows, if it's another girl we will have everything we need. And if it's a boy, then I'll have even more fun shopping all over again!
We have decided to keep this a secret for right now except for a few people (and the entire internet of course). I am dying to tell my parents but I want to wait until Matthew gets home on Sunday so we can do it together. I'm waiting to tell my close circle of friends, because one of them suffered a miscarriage last week and now is just not the time to talk about it with her. I did however go to the pool with another friend of mine today who secretly told me she's pregnant, so I went ahead and told her about me. It will be fun to have a friend here to be pregnant with. But she's also friends with the other girl so we were in agreement that this will be our secret for now. She's taking the miscarriage very hard.
Now that I've had time for it to set in, I'm excited, this baby is very much wanted and will be loved unconditionally. And although it is coming sooner that I had expected, I feel very fortunate that I am able to experience this journey again. I feel blessed that this is the next challenge that God has granted us, and that just means I will be able to hold this baby a few months sooner than I had ever dreamed. And I absolutely CANNOT wait to see Ava as a big sister.
So hop on board, this is sure to be a wild ride.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Wordless Wednesday
Details to follow in another post, as I'm trying to digest what has just happened...
Tuesday, July 10, 2007
To all my ladies...
**Note, this post was written under the influence of one too many fruity drinks during neighborhood Girls Night Out "luau night." And it's only going to be pictures, so don't be alarmed.
Just pretend that it was written by the dog.
"I've been lei ed ladies, who's next in line for this premium doghood? I bow (beg) thee to give me a chance."
Strong tall build, chestnut skin, beautiful eyes, huge ears and enough slobber to fill a gallon bucket, searching for someone to spend long romantic snoring filled naps, cat poop lunches and and dead fish rolls in the grass.
The cat already knows his trickery and is so over it. Upon seeing the specimen she has withdrawn her application without hesitation.
Nighty night!!
Just pretend that it was written by the dog.
"I've been lei ed ladies, who's next in line for this premium doghood? I bow (beg) thee to give me a chance."
Strong tall build, chestnut skin, beautiful eyes, huge ears and enough slobber to fill a gallon bucket, searching for someone to spend long romantic snoring filled naps, cat poop lunches and and dead fish rolls in the grass.
The cat already knows his trickery and is so over it. Upon seeing the specimen she has withdrawn her application without hesitation.
Nighty night!!
Monday, July 09, 2007
How do you spell tired
Come spend another weekend like last weekend with me and you'll understand. This is going to be bulleted, because I've sat here for an hour now, and have purposely deleted 3 posts because they weren't that interesting, and frankly they didn't make much sense. Not that this one does, so you get my point.
Thursday night - 8:30 PM and all is quiet in the house.
10:00 PM - Screaming ensues. Screaming lasts well until after midnight, when copious amounts of Tyle.nol have been allowed to take effect. Screaming baby now decides she feels well enough to play, but has no interest in sleeping. Great.
2:00 AM - Baby finally decides it's okay to let mom sleep, but will only do so if mom rocks baby for a half an hour until mom falls asleep before baby does. Baby promptly wakes mom up by poking her in the eye. The rocking continues and baby does unwillingly give in.
7:00 AM - Baby is awake at the crack ass of dawn, as if the previous night never happened.
10:00 AM - Mom realizes she must have turned off the baby monitor after hearing baby wake and screams because she is a horrible mother for leaving said baby in crib for so long. Checks on baby, baby is back asleep.
Rest of Friday is normal. Do shopping, put baby down for nap, start making dinner (not normal) as 12 people coming for dinner Friday night.
7:00 PM - People show up, people drink, people eat, people spill shit all over freshly mopped floors.
3:00 AM - Mama trying to sleep as baby will no doubt give another early wake up call, boys still playing pool and pool table is in the basement right under bedroom. Realize it's too late to take an Am.bien, or anything to sleep for that matter.
7:30 AM - Frantic words of "mama" heard from monitor. Mama reluctantly and very slowly walks to baby's room. Fresh aroma of poop, britches have exploded. It's going to be a swell day.
9:30 AM - Drop dog off at the kennel, drop baby off at grandparents, come home, scrub the house from the night before and somehow manage to sneak in an hour nap.
2:00 PM - Phone rings. Great Uncle has died, funeral is Sunday, mom and dad will keep baby but means plans of sleeping in totally uninterrupted for Sunday have now bombed. But that's okay. Being with family much more important.
6:00 PM - Attend engagement party out of town for brother in law and fiancee.
1:00 AM - Arrive home from said party, looking forward to getting at least 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep.
7:00 AM - Wake up to cat throwing up. TMI I know.
8:00 AM - Wake up again, take a quick shower and head out the door.
4:00 PM - Arrive back home from out of town funeral with baby in tow. I had to peel my eyes open to stay awake on the drive home, and was praying baby would stay asleep when we got home so I could TRY to get a quick 30 minute nap. No such luck. Instead woke up as pissed as she's been in a long time, and it didn't get much better.
8:00 PM - Baby is spent, so is mama and is sent to bed early.
8:15 PM - Mama falls asleep on couch.
10:00 PM - Thursday night's hell on earth starts again. Thoughts of why exactly I had a baby are flooding my head. This teething thing is really starting to piss me and her off. Another shot of Tyl.enol is given.
11:00 PM - Baby back asleep THANK GOD.
11:15 PM - Drift back asleep.
Approx. 11:30 PM - Loud blasts are heard outside, loud ass basset hound decides now would be a good time to stretch his vocal cords. Sound is that of a propane canon used by some old farmer about a mile down the road to scare off the birds.
12:15 AM - Sounds of propane canon and barking dog finally cease. Sleep is finally on the horizon.
8:00 AM - After a sort of good night sleep, baby awakes, happy, laughing and I think today is the day things are turning around.
10:00 AM - Phone call from furniture company. New couches are FINALLY in and will be delivered Friday!
12:00 PM - New deck furniture from Tar.get is delivered by hot UP.S guy.
2:00 PM - Husband comes home from doctor to go to bed. This is where he will proceed to spend the rest of the day, jacked up on a cocktail of Hydroco.ne, 1000 MG of Ibu.profen, and some anti-inflammatory. He messed his back up Friday (oops I left that part out) and since it was "sort of" my fault that it happened, I am now at his ever beckon call. He did however give me a hour off to take a nap. But that's only because that's when the medication kicked in.
So there ya go. Are ya tired yet? Because I am. And bored. And am hoping tomorrow continues to be better. And I promise I won't hate you if you never visit my site again.
But before I go this post wouldn't be complete without pics. But these aren't the Ava kind. These are pics of the party that was happening on my deck tonight.
I'm sure in the morning I'll have a beautiful web on my deck, but frankly I don't really care.
Said lonely spider invited best, and tastiest friend over. He's sure to be entangled in the web come morning.
And both will be history if he has anything to say about it.
Country living at it's finest.
Monday, July 02, 2007
15 months, going on 10
I'd have to say that today was one of the better days I've had in a while. Ava had her 15 month pictures this morning, so we got up and met my parents for breakfast beforehand. She of course cheesed it up like a professional, then went and played her heart out at Gymboree and crashed for a much needed 3 hour nap. When she woke up is when the fun began.
Since we've moved into this house, I feel like I'm constantly doing something. Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, unpacking, hanging up pictures, picking up, and vacuuming some more. I feel like I rarely have time to sit down and when I do it's usually after Ava goes to bed. Because of the craziness I feel like I'm not doing as much as I need to with her so today I decided to take away all distractions, and give her my undivided attention. As soon as she woke up, I immediately turned off the TV and my computer and the only noises in the house was the laughter and jabbering of my little girl. I don't have a cell phone at the moment (mom moment #1578 I'll get to at the end of the post) so even that couldn't get in the way. It was just me and her and even though I knew it already she is just an amazing child. She's working on a vocabulary of about 20 words now, is repeating almost everything I say, mimicking alot of things I do and in my opinion is just sharp as a tack. And of course she's one of the funniest human beings I know. We laughed, we played, we read stories, I got lots of kisses and hugs, and of course I turned into a human jungle gym for alot of the time. Even the few tantrums that she threw didn't bother me. I just can't get over how my little baby has truly turned into a little girl, the changes every day are just remarkable. Watching her learn something new has to be one of the greatest things about motherhood, and knowing that I played a part in helping her is like nothing I can describe.
So, off on another random subject, I have been without a cell phone since Friday. Do you know what this is like for me? I have had a cell phone since 1995 and it is rarely far from my side. I had to get something out in the mail Friday, so when I realized that at 11:30 AM that the mail had already come, I decided to throw Ava in the car and take it to the post office myself. One small problem, I left the letter, my wallet and cell phone on the top of the car and drove off. It wasn't until about 1 mile down the road when I heard and saw my phone fly off the roof. I was able to recover my wallet (thank god) but all that was left of my phone was the back, and part of the battery. Not too worried about the phone, but the thought of re-programming all my numbers is enough to throw me over the edge. And do you know where the letter was? In my driveway of course.
Oh, another random subject, do you remember that race that I was training for? Well it's Wednesday, and guess what? I'm not running in it! Because of my foot injury I'm forced to lay off for a couple of weeks. Boo hoo. I told my girls I'll be at the finish line with margaritas. Hey it's the least I can do.
Happy 4th to everyone. Be safe!
Since we've moved into this house, I feel like I'm constantly doing something. Laundry, dishes, vacuuming, sweeping, mopping, unpacking, hanging up pictures, picking up, and vacuuming some more. I feel like I rarely have time to sit down and when I do it's usually after Ava goes to bed. Because of the craziness I feel like I'm not doing as much as I need to with her so today I decided to take away all distractions, and give her my undivided attention. As soon as she woke up, I immediately turned off the TV and my computer and the only noises in the house was the laughter and jabbering of my little girl. I don't have a cell phone at the moment (mom moment #1578 I'll get to at the end of the post) so even that couldn't get in the way. It was just me and her and even though I knew it already she is just an amazing child. She's working on a vocabulary of about 20 words now, is repeating almost everything I say, mimicking alot of things I do and in my opinion is just sharp as a tack. And of course she's one of the funniest human beings I know. We laughed, we played, we read stories, I got lots of kisses and hugs, and of course I turned into a human jungle gym for alot of the time. Even the few tantrums that she threw didn't bother me. I just can't get over how my little baby has truly turned into a little girl, the changes every day are just remarkable. Watching her learn something new has to be one of the greatest things about motherhood, and knowing that I played a part in helping her is like nothing I can describe.
So, off on another random subject, I have been without a cell phone since Friday. Do you know what this is like for me? I have had a cell phone since 1995 and it is rarely far from my side. I had to get something out in the mail Friday, so when I realized that at 11:30 AM that the mail had already come, I decided to throw Ava in the car and take it to the post office myself. One small problem, I left the letter, my wallet and cell phone on the top of the car and drove off. It wasn't until about 1 mile down the road when I heard and saw my phone fly off the roof. I was able to recover my wallet (thank god) but all that was left of my phone was the back, and part of the battery. Not too worried about the phone, but the thought of re-programming all my numbers is enough to throw me over the edge. And do you know where the letter was? In my driveway of course.
Oh, another random subject, do you remember that race that I was training for? Well it's Wednesday, and guess what? I'm not running in it! Because of my foot injury I'm forced to lay off for a couple of weeks. Boo hoo. I told my girls I'll be at the finish line with margaritas. Hey it's the least I can do.
Happy 4th to everyone. Be safe!
Thursday, June 28, 2007
In the doghouse
I'm not sure who I'm going to throw in there first, my husband or the dog. Last night, we came home to a horrible smell that permeated from the garage into the house. My loving, wonderful husband made the quick and smart realization that it was probably dead minnows still in the boat from his fishing trip over the weekend. The boat that he just HAD to have. And the boat that he HAS to keep in the garage which is much more important that me being able to park my car in there. Whatever, I'm over it. So anyway, he cleans them out, throws them in the yard and is done with it. Fast forward to today. I took the dog out without his leash and all was well. He played, ran, and rolled around. Nothing out of the ordinary. It wasn't until we got back inside that the smell started coming again, and this time I realized that he had rolled all in it. And you know what else he's done today to continue with the stellar behavior?? Peed in Ava's room, and shit on my freshly mopped floor. Anyone want a nice, friendly basset hound that's great with children?? I'm kidding of course.
I'm off to give him a bath. And wouldn't ya know of all days it decided to RAIN here, something we haven't really had all summer. Looks like I'll be breaking out the mop again today. Sigh
I'm off to give him a bath. And wouldn't ya know of all days it decided to RAIN here, something we haven't really had all summer. Looks like I'll be breaking out the mop again today. Sigh
Friday, June 22, 2007
Officially Summer
So I took Ava to the pool yesterday along with some friends and their kids, and thankfully it was a success. Last year, we took her (granted she was not even 3 months old) and she hated it, I mean HATED. Screamed as if I was intentionally trying to torture her. Fast forward a year, and I could barely get the child out of the pool. One thing I couldn't understand though. How is it possible that in constant 85 - 90 degree heat, a pool with no more than one foot of water has a temperature of, oh say 60 degrees? It was FREEZING! But teeth chattering and all, there was mucho fun to be had.
Here is what I mean by last year's excitement. This was taken right after I attempted to put her feet in the water. See the outstretched legs?? Yeah, she was pissed. (and I know, my boobs pretty much take over the picture, so as hard as it may be, just pretend that I'm not there!)
Then here's yesterday. That's my friend in the background. She would probably kill me if she knew I posted this on the Internet.
All in a day's work :-)
Pushing the horn on daddy's NEW fishing boat. And he thinks I'm a compulsive shopper??
The biggest catch he will probably every get...if not the biggest, defiantely the prettiest.
.
Got a busy weekend ahead. I have a friend in from Cincinnati and then we're off to the lake tomorrow to catch up with the boys who will be fishing. Ava will be spending quality time with her grandparents and I will be spending quality time with the sun and my liquid friends.
Hope everyone has a nice weekend...
Here is what I mean by last year's excitement. This was taken right after I attempted to put her feet in the water. See the outstretched legs?? Yeah, she was pissed. (and I know, my boobs pretty much take over the picture, so as hard as it may be, just pretend that I'm not there!)
Then here's yesterday. That's my friend in the background. She would probably kill me if she knew I posted this on the Internet.
All in a day's work :-)
Pushing the horn on daddy's NEW fishing boat. And he thinks I'm a compulsive shopper??
The biggest catch he will probably every get...if not the biggest, defiantely the prettiest.
.
Got a busy weekend ahead. I have a friend in from Cincinnati and then we're off to the lake tomorrow to catch up with the boys who will be fishing. Ava will be spending quality time with her grandparents and I will be spending quality time with the sun and my liquid friends.
Hope everyone has a nice weekend...
Monday, June 18, 2007
Fru-strated
I'm going out of my mind! When we moved I bought a new laptop, complete with Windo.ws V.ista which I am quickly realizing my hatred for. I have burned a total of 10 discs from my old computer and I'm slowly getting things organized on the new one, but using Wo.rd and Ex.cel, forget it. I'm not even going to try. I'm old fashioned. I liked my Wind.ows 2000 just fine. And it doesn't help the computer nerd in my family (a.k.a. my brother) has no idea to use it either. Fantastic...
In Ava news, little Miss Priss stood by herself for a whole 10 seconds at Gymbo.ree today. And naturally I've been trying to get her to repeat it all afternoon. Any such luck? Not a chance in hell.
She's also started sticking her tongue out when she's concentrating. Which normally would be cute but since my mom and I both do it without realizing, it's looking more and more like we have a third generation tongue sticker outer. I assume it's Gods way of getting back at me since I used to constantly make fun of my mom for doing it.
Ta ta
In Ava news, little Miss Priss stood by herself for a whole 10 seconds at Gymbo.ree today. And naturally I've been trying to get her to repeat it all afternoon. Any such luck? Not a chance in hell.
She's also started sticking her tongue out when she's concentrating. Which normally would be cute but since my mom and I both do it without realizing, it's looking more and more like we have a third generation tongue sticker outer. I assume it's Gods way of getting back at me since I used to constantly make fun of my mom for doing it.
Ta ta
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Me likey me daddy
I always knew Matthew was going to be a good father to any kids we had together. I had seen him around his son, and was so proud to stand next to him and call him mine. I will never forget something he said to me early in our relationship. He looked at me and told he was terrified of having any more children, mainly because he was terrified of having a girl. He knew that it would be a love he could never match, and he would never be able to put her down. He knew that someday, as hard as it was going to be, he was going to have to punish her for her own good. He knew that she was going to be rotten and hateful as a teenager. He knew that someday he would have to watch her start dating, and that meant showing all prospective boyfriends his enormous gun collection. He knew that one day she would get married and that man will become responsible for her. He's afraid that after that day she would no longer be daddy's little girl and need him. He on the other hand is completely wrong. She will always need him, she will always be his little girl, and there is nothing in this world greater than that.
Happy Father's Day Matthew!
Daddy and Ava
Ready to go to church
My sister-in-law and nephew. I wish I had the pic of him also wearing Ava's old sleeper that we put on him after he had a massive diaper blowout.
Cards are way more fun than anything else.
I hope everyone else had a wonderful Father's Day!
Happy Father's Day Matthew!
Daddy and Ava
Ready to go to church
My sister-in-law and nephew. I wish I had the pic of him also wearing Ava's old sleeper that we put on him after he had a massive diaper blowout.
Cards are way more fun than anything else.
I hope everyone else had a wonderful Father's Day!
Thursday, June 14, 2007
She slapped me first...
I imagine that's what is going on in my childs head, because I just slapped her hand as she was doing something she wasn't supposed to (imagine that) and she turned and slapped my hand back. I had to laugh really, because it really is just funny.
Pictures cuz it's all I got...
This is all about pictures, cuz I've already tried writing a long post twice and my internet keeps shutting my computer down. Apparently I need a new router, and until my lazy ass brother gets over here and helps me fix it blogging may be sporatic. Not that I'm consistent about it anyways...
This one was much better for her first trip to the lake!
And trying to jump out already
See ya on the flip side
Probably need to get that gate put up huh. (not Ava here, he's my best friends baby)
This is what happens to independent babies who try to climb on grownup exercise equipment.
And her first band aid, which lasted all of about 2 minutes.
Trying to help with the laundry..or maybe making it worse??
Not at all happy about this new conflicting contraption
This one was much better for her first trip to the lake!
And trying to jump out already
See ya on the flip side
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Reason why I love being a mom. #7564
Today and tonight was one of those days where being a mom is exhausting, challenging but so worth it. Ava has been sick most of the day. No puking but it seems like I've changed more than 15 diapers since lunchtime alone. Stuff that comes with the territory but stuff that makes it hard when you are the only human being within a 100 mile radius that the child wants anything to do with.
Tonight I got to do something that I haven't done in a very long time. I got to comfort and rock my baby to sleep. She's the kind of baby you lay in the crib, turn the lights out and she goes to sleep on her own. I loved holding her with her back on my stomach, watching her rub her blanket furiously in her face. I loved watching her pelvic thrust and throw her legs all over the place. (apparently this is her newest nightly sleeping ritual.) I even loved it when she rolled over and put her finger in my nose, only to promptly take it out and put it in my mouth. But what I loved most was that she rolled over on her belly and laid her head on my arm, fighting to keep her eyes open while rubbing my face, as if to silently thank me for taking such good care of her.
No one could have prepared me for how much I love being her mommy.
Tonight I got to do something that I haven't done in a very long time. I got to comfort and rock my baby to sleep. She's the kind of baby you lay in the crib, turn the lights out and she goes to sleep on her own. I loved holding her with her back on my stomach, watching her rub her blanket furiously in her face. I loved watching her pelvic thrust and throw her legs all over the place. (apparently this is her newest nightly sleeping ritual.) I even loved it when she rolled over and put her finger in my nose, only to promptly take it out and put it in my mouth. But what I loved most was that she rolled over on her belly and laid her head on my arm, fighting to keep her eyes open while rubbing my face, as if to silently thank me for taking such good care of her.
No one could have prepared me for how much I love being her mommy.
Saturday, June 02, 2007
14 Months
Okay so she turned 14 months last Sunday, and this entry is definitely more for my benefit than anything else. I haven't unpacked the baby book yet (not that I'm that good at writing in it) and before I forget I need to mark down her new accomplishments.
She has about 20 words now but new ones this month are:
Kitty (sounds like titty of course)
Sit (sounds more like shit)
Cool
Ook (look)
Whassa? (what's that)
Shoo wa (shoo wee) - she says this anytime she sees me with a diaper or wipes
Things she's doing:
crawling up and down the stairs
crawling up to me to give me a hug
throwing tantrums when she doesn't get her way. Oh boy...
will give kisses on demand to anyone who asks for them, especially her daddy!
laughs uncontrollably when I kiss on her neck and back
loves pulling lids off her snacks with her teeth
is getting closer and closer to walking. Loves pushing her toys all over the house
STILL loves bopping her head to music. Will push buttons on her toys over and over again and just sit there and listen
This kid is constantly cracking me up, and we are loving her more and more each day!
She has about 20 words now but new ones this month are:
Kitty (sounds like titty of course)
Sit (sounds more like shit)
Cool
Ook (look)
Whassa? (what's that)
Shoo wa (shoo wee) - she says this anytime she sees me with a diaper or wipes
Things she's doing:
crawling up and down the stairs
crawling up to me to give me a hug
throwing tantrums when she doesn't get her way. Oh boy...
will give kisses on demand to anyone who asks for them, especially her daddy!
laughs uncontrollably when I kiss on her neck and back
loves pulling lids off her snacks with her teeth
is getting closer and closer to walking. Loves pushing her toys all over the house
STILL loves bopping her head to music. Will push buttons on her toys over and over again and just sit there and listen
This kid is constantly cracking me up, and we are loving her more and more each day!
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