Brainfart = No title

I have been nominated for an award!! YAY, and that's next on my list, but I gotta get this out, because it's been one of those days.

First off, I feel like shit. Total and utter crap. Not the pukey kind, that's gone, the kind in the form of never ending snot, sneezing every 10 or so minutes, throat that feels like sandpaper kind of shit. And the one crappy thing about being pregnant is that I can't load myself up on Ny.Quil and other comatose causing drugs that I like to take. Am left with a choice of Bena.dryl (which I clearly have a tolerance for now), Sud.afed, which makes me jittery and a few other things I can't even remember. So you can imagine that since I got about 2 hours of sleep between the coughing, sneezing, stuffy head, fever that I COULD NOT REST without medicine, I was in rare form today.

So I had planned to go to the mall today to get something to wear for a wedding I'm going to tomorrow. Let's face it, things aren't fitting so hot these days. Too big to wear normal clothes, too small for maternity clothes. So I am going to try again to hit the mall tomorrow, and if I don't make it out, then I'm gonna throw on my Spa.nx and put on a little black dress that I have. I can already tell you what it's going to look like, and it won't be pretty.

Second of all, my house has been smelling like shit for about 3 days. Literally. I kept looking in corners, under things, anywhere thinking one of the pets, or even Ava had left me a little present somewhere. But even I am smart enough to know that the smell of pet shit does go away after a while. This was clearly getting worse. This afternoon my dad came to cut bushes and help weed my landscaping. I am not an outside gal, I don't mow, I don't weed, I don't plant flowers, in fact I'm pretty good at killing things. But my dad loves that crap so he came out to help. So as we walk in the house I mention to him about the smell, and it was at about this time that I slipped in something and almost fell on my ass. Yep you guessed it, my super awesome dog was at it again. Shit...all over my shoes, and now all over the floor. So my dad gets a plastic bag and starts helping me pick it up when he misses a spot and steps in it. So now we have dog shit tracked all over my kitchen floor. Nice. I swear my dog is trained. Won't pee in the house if I left him alone for 12 hours, but leave him alone for an hour? And he shits everywhere.

So that was still not the root of the smell. Matthew and I came home from dinner tonight, he went to the basement to go to the bathroom, and I went to the one upstairs (pregnant women = need to pee every 15 minutes). He starts screaming at me, I go downstairs, and there's sewer, and shit literally spraying all over our walls. We are on a septic system where I live, not sewer, so I guess maybe it's full??? I don't know, all I know is the room where the pump is now covered in icky brown goo, and who wants to bet that after we have someone come out and fix it I'll be the one on my hands and knees cleaning it up. And now I've been told by my husband that until we have someone come out here, no flushing toilets, no running water, etc. Gonna be an interesting day and night indeed. I thought moving into a new house meant that we wouldn't have problems like this. Big fat wrongo. In the 3 months we've been here, we've had a leaky toilet that ran into the basement, a broken air conditioner, and now shit flying on the walls.

So I'm off to try to medicate myself in any way possible. My gracious parents offered to keep Miss Priss tonight so I can catch some zzz's, or snot, or whatever.

How do you spell tired

Come spend another weekend like last weekend with me and you'll understand. This is going to be bulleted, because I've sat here for an hour now, and have purposely deleted 3 posts because they weren't that interesting, and frankly they didn't make much sense. Not that this one does, so you get my point.

Thursday night - 8:30 PM and all is quiet in the house.

10:00 PM - Screaming ensues. Screaming lasts well until after midnight, when copious amounts of Tyle.nol have been allowed to take effect. Screaming baby now decides she feels well enough to play, but has no interest in sleeping. Great.

2:00 AM - Baby finally decides it's okay to let mom sleep, but will only do so if mom rocks baby for a half an hour until mom falls asleep before baby does. Baby promptly wakes mom up by poking her in the eye. The rocking continues and baby does unwillingly give in.

7:00 AM - Baby is awake at the crack ass of dawn, as if the previous night never happened.

10:00 AM - Mom realizes she must have turned off the baby monitor after hearing baby wake and screams because she is a horrible mother for leaving said baby in crib for so long. Checks on baby, baby is back asleep.

Rest of Friday is normal. Do shopping, put baby down for nap, start making dinner (not normal) as 12 people coming for dinner Friday night.

7:00 PM - People show up, people drink, people eat, people spill shit all over freshly mopped floors.

3:00 AM - Mama trying to sleep as baby will no doubt give another early wake up call, boys still playing pool and pool table is in the basement right under bedroom. Realize it's too late to take an Am.bien, or anything to sleep for that matter.

7:30 AM - Frantic words of "mama" heard from monitor. Mama reluctantly and very slowly walks to baby's room. Fresh aroma of poop, britches have exploded. It's going to be a swell day.

9:30 AM - Drop dog off at the kennel, drop baby off at grandparents, come home, scrub the house from the night before and somehow manage to sneak in an hour nap.

2:00 PM - Phone rings. Great Uncle has died, funeral is Sunday, mom and dad will keep baby but means plans of sleeping in totally uninterrupted for Sunday have now bombed. But that's okay. Being with family much more important.

6:00 PM - Attend engagement party out of town for brother in law and fiancee.

1:00 AM - Arrive home from said party, looking forward to getting at least 6 hours of uninterrupted sleep.

7:00 AM - Wake up to cat throwing up. TMI I know.

8:00 AM - Wake up again, take a quick shower and head out the door.

4:00 PM - Arrive back home from out of town funeral with baby in tow. I had to peel my eyes open to stay awake on the drive home, and was praying baby would stay asleep when we got home so I could TRY to get a quick 30 minute nap. No such luck. Instead woke up as pissed as she's been in a long time, and it didn't get much better.

8:00 PM - Baby is spent, so is mama and is sent to bed early.

8:15 PM - Mama falls asleep on couch.

10:00 PM - Thursday night's hell on earth starts again. Thoughts of why exactly I had a baby are flooding my head. This teething thing is really starting to piss me and her off. Another shot of Tyl.enol is given.

11:00 PM - Baby back asleep THANK GOD.

11:15 PM - Drift back asleep.

Approx. 11:30 PM - Loud blasts are heard outside, loud ass basset hound decides now would be a good time to stretch his vocal cords. Sound is that of a propane canon used by some old farmer about a mile down the road to scare off the birds.

12:15 AM - Sounds of propane canon and barking dog finally cease. Sleep is finally on the horizon.

8:00 AM - After a sort of good night sleep, baby awakes, happy, laughing and I think today is the day things are turning around.

10:00 AM - Phone call from furniture company. New couches are FINALLY in and will be delivered Friday!

12:00 PM - New deck furniture from Tar.get is delivered by hot UP.S guy.

2:00 PM - Husband comes home from doctor to go to bed. This is where he will proceed to spend the rest of the day, jacked up on a cocktail of Hydroco.ne, 1000 MG of Ibu.profen, and some anti-inflammatory. He messed his back up Friday (oops I left that part out) and since it was "sort of" my fault that it happened, I am now at his ever beckon call. He did however give me a hour off to take a nap. But that's only because that's when the medication kicked in.

So there ya go. Are ya tired yet? Because I am. And bored. And am hoping tomorrow continues to be better. And I promise I won't hate you if you never visit my site again.

But before I go this post wouldn't be complete without pics. But these aren't the Ava kind. These are pics of the party that was happening on my deck tonight.

I'm sure in the morning I'll have a beautiful web on my deck, but frankly I don't really care.

Said lonely spider invited best, and tastiest friend over. He's sure to be entangled in the web come morning.

And both will be history if he has anything to say about it.

Country living at it's finest.

Round, round get around, I get around...

Not that way you pervs. But I have been getting around, around town, flashing my credit card and getting everything that I want! I'm in such a time crunch, I honestly can't even remember when I went to the bathroom last. I'm completely sleep deprived, neurotic, bitchy and anything else you can imagine, but in 4 short days I will be sitting on my new patio, enjoying a nice cold beverage in my new house. So you wanna hear what I'm going to do for the next 4 days?? I'm running in the morning (yep, still doing it), going to the new house to await my beautiful new bedroom furniture, cleaning new house until it sparkles, then coming back to old house to pack and then have a cry in my baby's nursery as this will be the last night that she spends in her first house. Thursday will be much of the same. Packing, heading to the new house to await new treadmill. See you all really didn't think I was taking the running seriously huh! Going back to old house to whip hubby's ass into packing mode and then crying again as it will our last night in our first house. Friday will be spent in my throne telling people what to do. Can it get any better than that??

Yes I know that was long and completely long winded but if I don't hurry up and publish this post my computer will shut down on me again, which is has been doing non stop for 3 days.