Because honestly, I don't have much of anything positive to say. I've been in a never ending whirlwind of something new, and I just want a break from it all.
1. I'm tired of cleaning up dog shit. I could remedy that by taking the dog to the vet but that would constitute taking a shower and leaving the house.
2. I'm tired of listening to my husband bitch because he doesn't have any clean socks or underwear. He's 38, knows where the washing machine is, he isn't pregnant and is more than capable of doing his own laundry.
3. I'm also tired of husband bitching because I might have "accidentally" forgotten to check his dress pants pocket and missed a tube of chap stick that has now ruined them. The only thing I check pants for is money. Again, old enough and plenty capable of washing them himself.
4. I'm tired of feeling like my head is going to implode on itself every time I move.
5. I'm tired of coughing every 2 - 3 minutes which also makes head feel like it's going to implode.
6. I'm tired of taking pills to relieve the things that ail me.
7. I'm tired of gagging every time I take a pill.
8. I'm tired of feeling inadequate as a mother because I just don't have the energy to do the things I need to do with her.
9. I'm tired of leaving it up to my parents to take her because I never know when Matthew is going to be home.
10. I'm tired of cancelling play dates, and walks and doing things I want to do just because that would entail taking a shower and that just takes too much energy.
11. I'm tired of having no appetite. Eating has become as stressful for me as being a mom. I'm having a harder time eating now then when I was in the throes of morning sickness (which still hasn't COMPLETELY gone away either)
12. I'm tired of taking out my frustrations on everyone and everything around me. It's not fair for my husband, child and dog to suffer just because I am.
13. I'm tired of complaining but that's all I feel like I doing.
14. I'm tired of my house being a mess. (I know, I know...it's a minor thing but I'm a neat freak.)
15. I'm tired of listening to my husband bitch about the kitty litter that's on the floor. AGAIN, big boy knows where the vacuum is and is perfectly capable of doing it himself. I am after all the one who is cleaning the litter box out even though I'm not supposed to and he knows that.
16. I'm tired of getting an average of 5 hours of sleep a night. Yes, I'm fully aware that you aren't supposed to sleep good during pregnancy but at this point I should be at least comfortable enough to get some good hours. Not so much. I think the same person who hit me in the head with a sledgehammer must have thought it would be funny to hit me in the back too.
17. I'm tired of listening to my husband complain about having a sore neck because he needs a new pillow. Bite me, seriously, bite me.
18. I'm tired of crying at the drop of a pin. Damn hormones are sending me over the edge this time.
Ok I'm done bitching. And before you start thinking that my husband is an awful person, he's not. He's really not. He works really hard so that I don't have to, and I love him with all my heart for that. He also has a son that needs his attention just as much as we do. He just seems to be an easy target to take this out on. I read so many blogs where the husband is so hands on, and is a great dad and I'm not saying that Matthew isn't, he's just not around as much as I would like and about 90% of the time I feel like I'm raising her alone. Most weekends are spent doing things with his 13 year old son, and alot of nights he gets home late due to business meetings. So I am home with her alot, and that's why I send her off to my parents to spend the night so much because right now I just can't handle her by myself all the time. Tonight I cried when my dad said he was bringing her home because I was secretly hoping that she could stay one more night. How awful of a mom does that make me????
Secondly, I'm probably really emotional right now too because I started bleeding Friday night. Not heavy, and nothing that seems to be of any concern right now, but nevertheless when I noticed it Friday night it scared the shit out of me and I got about 0 hours of sleep. Per Dr's orders I am supposed to wear pads to track the amount, call them back if it gets heavy like a period or start cramping and do AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE. Now someone tell me how that's going to happen when I'm home alone with my child???? Matthew knows all of this too and I guess he's not as worried as me. Every little twinge I feel down there freaks me out, and all of a sudden in my head my brain is telling me that no appetite probably means I'm not pregnant anymore. I know, I know...things would be happening if that were the case. Right now I would give anything for a flutter, kick, anything to let me know that things are OK. I'm thinking he's probably going to call me tomorrow to come in, and if he does it will be the greatest thing to peak my mood, and if he doesn't I might just call them because I can't wait another two weeks to see what's going on.
So that's it for now. I promise the next post will be upbeat because I've been nominated by two lovely ladies for two special awards and I want to thank them for that.
**As of this morning, the bleeding appears to have stopped. Apparently the bitching gods were listening last night and decided to grant me some wishes because my neverending headache is a little better too. And it's taken me almost 30 minutes to eat a biscuit so I see all of that as a good sign. I called and left a message for the nurse at the Drs office letting her know things were better, so they may or may not want me to come in. And I THINK, THINK I might have felt a small flutter this morning when I was laying in bed. I'm sure it was probably a gas bubble because it's still sort of early, but hey a girl can dream right?? **
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10 comments:
oh...I am so sorry! I hope that you start feeling better! Don't worry about all the bitching, I think that it's a great way to get it out of our systems! Better than taking it out on anyone else. I could complain about the same hubby complaints...I love mine to death, but he does some of the EXACT same things. I once stopped doing his laundry and dishes once so that he knew how much I actually did! HEE!! Taught him a lesson so now the complaining has lessened:p sorry so long!! WOOPS!!
You have every right to bitch...believe me, I'm glad to see someone else doing it because I was beginning to feel like a total downer and that no one would read my blog anymore!!! But, being pregnant with twin AND raising a toddler gives you a free bitch pass, 24/7.
As for the hubby...not alone. I love mine with all my heart and he's been great but ALL I wanted was for him to tell me to go get a pedicure today and he'd watch the girls. I hinted and hinted but it didn't happen. In fact, he gave me a look when I told him I was going to take a shower so HE had to watch the girls. HELLO!!! I watch them ALL day!! Granted, he's working but still, can I not get an hour or two of me time on the weekend??? Ugh. And, I swear, he also got a little gripey with me this weekend because he was almost out of clean socks. What is it with them and laundry?????
I'm sorry about the bleeding; just keep a close eye on it and try to follow drs' orders by resting. And don't feel bad about taking your daughter to your parents. I was so down the day we had to leave my in-laws because I knew that I would have to take care of the girls without their help. We moved to a different side of town just so we'd be closer to them!!!
Take care of yourself :)
Don't worry about the complaining, we all have our days like that, even when we aren't pregnant w/ twins...so you feel free to do all the complaining you need. Try not to tear yourself up about the bleeding, but I know that is really not possible. Keep a close eye on it, and if I were you, I'd force my way into my doctor's office tomorrow to have them take a look.
You have *every* right to be bitching right now! I'm so very sorry to hear about the bleeding~I know you must've been freaked out! The same thing happened to me when I was pregnant w/Justin & it happened on a Fri. evening after the ob/gyn office had already closed. I was scared out of my mind. I called & got the answering service & they had the dr. on call call me back & he told me the *exact* same thing your dr. did~of course, I didn't have other children @ the time, so it was easy to follow his orders. I do hope the bleeding has subsided by now, I know that's scary. I would call this morning & get them to work in an appt. for you~JUST TO BE SURE & for your sanity. I can totally relate to you on the hubby issues~I'm in the same boat~Bobby works a full time job & a part time job so I feel like a single parent every day except for Sun.~that's the ONLY day he doesn't have to work anywhere. I *totally* appreciate him working so hard so that I can be a SAHM for our boys but some days, I'd just LOVE a little break. Bobby's the exact same way about underwear & socks~~irritates me to no end!!!! I better stop w/that or this will turn into a book instead of a comment (I think it already has, LOL!)! Please keep us updated & let us know if you're able to get an appt. & how it goes. Sending good thoughts & prayers your way! (((Hugs)))
bitch away girlfriend!
hope you get in to the doc today and that eveyrthing is ok.
and you've got twice as many hormones running through you this time, take it easy on yourself!!!
I had to check back to see if you went in to the dr. or not. Glad to hear the bleeding has subsided & that your headache & appetite seem to be better. That is *awesome* that you think you felt a flutter~you know they say after your 1st baby, you begin to feel flutters/kicks earlier so you may have indeed felt the twins :) How exciting!! Keep us updated :)
Glad to hear the bleeding is over. I KNOW that's a good sign. And, so happy you are feeling a wee bit better!
Bleeding is scary no matter what! I am glad things have gotten back to normal. Don't you wish you could just drink a bottle of Nyquil and sleep for 2 days? I will pray you get some energy and your hubby gets to spend time with you soon!
Wow, I am glad the bleeding has stopped. That is really scary. And, girl, if I was pregnant with twins and had a toddler to take care of, I would be complaining waaay more than you. Plus, I am forever getting pissed at my husband...it's what they are there for, to annoy us and impregnate us :)
Hey its your blog and if you cannot bitch here where can you do it, being pregnant and dealing with a toddler is not fun most days but second trimestar is not long away
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