Merry Christmas!

I know I haven't been around much, but just wanting to wish everyone a Merry Christmas. Hoping to be back in full swing in the New Year...

How I spent the past 2 days

Here's some photographic evidence. Pics are from the cell phone and are beyond crappy but you get the idea. I've also been eating a shit load of chocolate chip cookies.






For weeks I've been putting off packing up Ava's summer stuff, but when I did her last load of laundry and realized that I couldn't possibly put anything else in the closet, I decided it was time. What I didn't realize is that I completely neglected to put away her winter stuff from LAST year, so I had more work to do than normal. I always hate putting the stuff away because it makes me incredibly sad that she will never wear this stuff again. But, anyway, it's done, and now her closet looks almost empty. The only solution I have for that is more shopping.


I'm going to try to post again tomorrow, but really we all know that won't happen so I hope everyone has a safe and Happy Thanksgiving. I'm off to work on getting my house ready for 25 peeps on Friday. And I might have another cookie Yes, I'm crazy.

Here I go again..

I feel like all I think and talk about lately is the significance of this month last year. November 2007 will forever be etched in my mind. On one hand we celebrate that we did not lose my dad from the massive heart attack that he had, but on the other hand we grieve for the loss of our babies. Today marks the one year anniversary that I lost our second precious girl. Today, in the cold and rain, I will make my first trip to the cemetary in several months to lay flowers in memory of her. That day, November 15, 2007 forever changed who I am as a human being. As hard as it was to go through something like that, I'm greatful that I have been able to pull through and come out as a better person, and a better mother because of it.

Perfect Timing...

You will notice, just below her right eye, appears to be my precious baby girl's first shiner. I have NO idea how it happened. She's as rambunctious as a bull so lord only knows. All I do know is that she has pictures on Friday with my favorite photographer of all time, so it better be gone by then.

Chaos

Meet the newest addition to our family.

Matthew was hunting on his farm this weekend and literally almost ran her over with his 4 wheeler. She appears to be mostly Australian Shepherd but there must be something else mixed in. She's a really sweet dog and her face is precious, but lord have mercy she has alot of energy. I'm used to the dog that literally sleeps unless he's eating or going to the bathroom so having her in the house has been a major change for us. I'm afraid that she might run Harley to death.

Once Matthew found her she wouldn't leave his side, he even tried to lose her a couple of times and would find her back at their camper at night. Me being the sucker that I am told him to bring her home. She's in pretty rough shape. She's underweight and has knots in most of her fur, so I'm taking her to the vet today and the groomer on Wednesday and hopefully everything will be okay with her. Ideally I get to the vet today and they can find a micro-chip but I'm not counting on it. Especially because it looks like she's never even had a collar on.

Harley's tail has been wagging since the second she stepped in the door, and Ava was running around this morning screaming "two doggies mommy!" We aren't 100% sure at this point that we will keep her, but unless I find somewhere that I know she would be taken care of, she can stay right here. I just hope that I'm not making the wrong decision.

I suck at blogging...

And I'd like to say that I have a ton of excuses of why I haven't posted in what seems like forever, but I don't. I'm busy, but no busier than anyone else. I'm really just trying to soak up every ounce of Ava that I can because this little girls is literally growing up right before my eyes.

Last week I finally took her out to one of the local pumpkin patches around here. It was cold but we decided to go on a weekday to avoid the large weekend crowds. I also dragged my parents with us, because let's face it, Ava would probably pick doing something with my dad over me 9 times out of 10. That was definitely evident that day after we got back to their house as she REFUSED to come home with me, clinging to every inch of his leg and actually telling me to leave, she was staying with papa. Lord help me with this child.

Anywho here are some pics of the day.

Cheezing it up for the camera on the way.

Hanging with grandma while looking at the chicks and bunnies

Her hat's too small and her face is dirty but I love this pic.

In front of the "haunted farmhouse," which I thought she would totally hate. We had to drag her out of there after about the 7th time through. I think it freaked me out more than it did her.

With me on her very first hayride

Hanging with our pumpkin stash, waiting for the tractor to take us back.

With her papa on the way back.

Up next, my attempt to carve pumpkins. This outta be interesting...

A post is long overdue but...

In honor of today being National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, I took some time tonight to light candles for those we have lost.

Please pray for all those families out there who also have suffered the loss of a child.

On a slightly lighter note, as soon as Ava saw the candles, she immediately got excited, sang Happy Birthday and tried and eventually succeeded at blowing the right one out.

One year

It was one year ago today that my life as a mother changed forever. This day last year I learned that I would not be bringing two babies home, and the life of the remaining baby was hanging in the balance.

Words still cannot describe the pain I felt that day, but there was still hope that I would be bringing home one healthy baby.

Little did I know.

The memories of my pregnancy are fading, but the pain I feel over that loss is always there. I don't cry about it anymore, but I think about them and say a prayer every single day. The what if's can be overwhelming at times, but I've proven to myself that even though nothing will ever be the same again, I can and have moved on. That experience has forever changed who I am as a person, and who I am as a mother. I have more dead children than I do living ones. No one should ever have to write that.

Bitchin cuz I wanna

Today has been just one of those days. One where if I would have been able to predict who would call and what would happen, I would have pulled up the covers and stayed in bed.

It started with a call I got at 8:30 from Ava's Parents Day Out teacher. Started the day off wrong, I'll go into details about it in a minute.

I want to shout out to everyone that has been affected by Ike. We had massive winds here on Sunday as a result of the storm, and for us to suffer any damage this far away pales in comparison to what some people are facing. We came home to find several sections of shingles missing from our roof. With all the problems that we've had I'm all for ripping the damn thing off and replacing it with a permanent sun light.

We had our home inspection on the old house yesterday. Just as a precaution I went over to make sure none of the smoke detectors were beeping and the air filters were clean. I pulled up to find our one and only tree in the front yard totally snapped in half. Guess it's a good thing we already sold the house.

Ava's sleeping habits and attitude are pushing me closer to the edge insanity. I was pretty close before but lately she's been completely unmanageable. So unmanageable that when I "try" to discipline her she throws her hands on her ears and rolls her eyes. I'm being played like a fiddle.

Matthew's being a total ass. PMS in rare form. I actually went to the store and made dinner tonight, for him to come home, tell me he wasn't eating it and therefore will take care of himself now. He complains if I don't cook, complains if I do. I can't win.

I left my grocery list at home, drew a complete brain fart and forgot about half of what I needed. Most importantly dog food. Ava dropped her prized blankie at the check out line at Wal-Mart. I searched all over the damn place to realize it was the last place we actually were.

I desperately want a new layout to my blog, and found the best website where you can upload cute ones for free, and I'm a complete and total idiot and apparently cannot follow directions.

A friend of mine got some bad news from a MRI he had Friday. Has a mass on his temporal lobe. Not sure what that means but he has 3 kids. He's a total turd ball but I'm putting my feelings and animosities aside and hoping and praying for the best.

Gosh I'm really whiny today.

Going back to the call from her teacher. She started last Monday, so yesterday marked her second day. Not much time in my opinion to get a feel for how a child is really going to be. She cried last week when I dropped her off. Got the report when I got her that all was fine. Dropped her off screaming yesterday, they told me not to worry about it, they could handle it and all was fine. When I picked her up both teachers said she was fine, she had some moments but nothing to worry about. She called today to tell me that Ava was indeed very hard to comfort yesterday, that she cried alot, and they don't think she's ready to stay there from the scheduled time of 9 - 2. Nothing that any mother wants to hear. I was SHOCKED. This was coming from the same mouth that at the orientation 3 weeks ago said they would a.) call if a child could not be consoled, b.) would ask the parent what to do to console the child, c.) would recommend that even if the child wasn't happy, they could handle it and would not recommend changing things unless there was an extreme circumstance. She tried to make it seem like after 2 weeks...she could determine that this is how Ava was going to be. She went to this SAME Parents Day Out last year, and I had NO complaints about her. I loved her teacher and was devastated to learn that Ava wouldn't be in her class this year. I'm at a loss as to what to do. The teacher suggested that we try her from 9 - 12 next week. That does nothing for me. I'm going to be sitting, watching the clock, wondering what's going in that classroom. I understand their concern for what's going on there and if she's disrupting then we need to figure out what to do, but after only 2 times???? I would think that when you are dealing with 2 1/2 year olds no assumptions can be made that fast. She does have a tendency to cry SOMETIMES when I drop her off in unfamiliar situations, but never for more than 5 minutes and no one ever says anything about it. Even at the orientation I didn't get a real sense of compassion from this woman, and my feelings are pushing me stronger to take her out completely. I do not want to do it. I know there are going to be times as she gets older when I get phone calls about her behavior. There are going to be times when I don't like her teachers. But we have to deal with it. They are supposed to be trained to deal with these kids. This is good for Ava, and for me but if it's going to do her more harm in the long run I'll yank her out. I have no problem doing that. Maybe I'm overreacting, or maybe I'm just being a concerned parent, something I really haven't been forced to deal with yet.

I'll continue my pity party alone, maybe with a glass, or bottle, of wine.

SOLD!

Most of you all probably didn't realize that we didn't sell our old house when we moved last May. We kept it empty for a while and then let a friend stay there for 2 months while he was in the midst of a divorce. It officially went on the market in February, and as of today there is a contract on it, closing set for the first week in October...AND we even made a little money in the process. We are definately not going to miss paying that mortgage! Maybe I can now convince my husband to put in a pool...hmmm.

Isn't he supposed to roll out the red carpet for me???

Ugh, I'm home. Don't take it wrong, I'm damn happy to be here but for me the first days after a vacation are rough. I missed my husband, my dog, and my cat (in that order) tremendously, but lord have mercy I have been moving non stop since we got home at 3:30. I left the house clean, it's not. I left the laundry baskets perfectly empty. They are overflowing. I left the sink clean and the dishwasher empty. They both are full Cleaning lady is coming at 8 in the morning. House is not ready. I didn't expect it to be as perfect (HA) as I left it, but it's actually not as bad as I thought. I did laugh however because the comforter on our bed is turned completely sideways! It's striped so it's easy to tell, but I guess I gotta give the guy a little credit for at least attempting to make the bed.

My sweet little princess starts back at Parents Day Out in the morning so I had to make a trip to the store to make sure her picky food needs are met. Which normally would not be a problem but there's a kid in her class with a peanut allergy so therefore nothing peanut related can be sent. She went last year but according to the orientation that I attended just before we left, this year it's a whole new ball game. So....her bag for tomorrow is packed, her lunch is ready, her cute new first day outfit is laid out (I got it in Hilton Head so no need to wash), she's bathed and in bed (THANK GOD) and mom's about to collapse. I have about 8 (not kidding, see pic below) bags to unpack and put away, dishes to load, and laundry to do. And since my computer's been a piece of you know what for 5 days, I have 5 days of pics, emails, and blogs to catch up on.

Even though no one probably really cares about the rest of my vacation, I'm going to write about it. Soon. Because there were some really good, funny, sad, and happy times and even if no one else wants to read about it, I want to make sure I can remember what I can. This is the vacation spot where I grew up, and I want to be able to share this with Ava some day.

We pack light, no?? I have an SUV, so trunk space is pretty large...ridiculous really. And that's only the back part.

Hunkering Down

Just got word from the rental office here that pretty much everything is shutting down here at 5 in order to let people get home. By 7 we should be rocking. It's still a Tropical Storm but is expected to hit Category 1 strength by the time it hits land. At this time they are predicting the center of the storm to hit about 60 miles north, but it's shifting west so we might be in for a bumpy night. We have plenty of food, water, a flashlight and even some candles that the rental office handed us and I don't feel at this time that we are in any immediate danger. With 2 kids, if I thought we were, we would have left already. My best friend's family (Andrea who is with me) used to own a condo where were staying and it survived Hugo back years ago so I definitely feel safe. We are sitting here out on the porch, watching the trees sway and admiring the white caps on the water, and in a way, this sort of excites me. I've never been part of something like this.

I'll try to post more tomorrow...will update the rest of the days from the trip either tomorrow from our hotel on the road, or at home.

If there is anyone else out there that reads this that are in the affected areas, I hope you are able to stay safe too.

Here

Been trying to download and update for over a day, and for some reason my computer does not want to cooperate as in when I download it tells me it is going to take 49,000 days to to id. I have many cute pics and some awesome videos but will probably have to postpone until I can get to a place that has real Internet connection.

The storm is now due to hit just north of us, so the worst that we might get is rain and wind, we haven't changed our plans and are due to leave Saturday morning. Tear. It has been wonderful and relaxing but also very exhausting dealing with these 2 little ones. I have had a great time but am also ready to get home and back to a sense of normalcy.

Will update when I can.

Beach Trip: Day 3 (Monday)

Today was the first day that we actually ventured to the beach. I honestly was a bit anxious as I wasn't sure exactly how Ava would react. She hates to have dirty feet and water splashed in her face, and unfortunately those two things go hand in hand at the beach. Thankfully we are at a part of the island that doesn't usually get much wave activity, the clarity of the water sucks but at least it's water. There were a few waves however and there actually was a bit of an undertow so we had to be a bit careful, but thankfully all went well and she's been asking to go back ever since.

There might have been a few beers involved

And there were some times where she was pissed after getting knocked down.

You would think that all that we are doing to wear them out would make them crash at naptime but NOOO. They haven't napped since we got here so right now we are dealing with two very tired and cranky moms. So what better to do than to snap pics of ourselves doing what we do best.

We walked down to the dock where they were having food and music by the water where we ate, drank and the kids danced until they wore themselves out.

Can someone PLEASE tell me how I ended up with a kid with super blonde hair and blue eyes?? I can't tell you how many people have asked A if both kids were hers. Gee people, thanks.

The postive here is that both kids were in bed asleep by 9. That's good enough for me.

**On a total side note, we should know by lunch time tomorrow if there is going to be a mandatory evacuation for the storm. We have decided that unless we have to leave, we are planning on staying. We are supposed to leave Sat. morning anyways, so if we can ride it out we will. If not, we are prepared and have rooms inland waiting for us.

Reflections, beach style

2 years ago in this very same spot two little ones took their very first vacation together.




Last night, they proved that they are, like their mommies, the best of friends. Quality is horrible, but hopefully you can see enough to get the idea. He literally took her hand and started dancing with her.

Beach Trip: Day 2 (Sunday)

As I'm sitting here , we are watching 2 dolphins frolic in the harbor behind me. Truly a fun and amazing sight. We are also keeping a close eye on what is now Hurricane Hanna as it's predicted that it might hit our area later in the week. Keep your fingers crossed that we are able to avoid this storm, but in the case that it does hit we have already booked rooms inland if we have to evacuate.

Moving on. Yesterday was pretty lazy. We got up and ran to get some last minute things that we needed, and promptly headed straight to the pool. It wasn't a long trip because we had to be back to watch UK beat the crap out of Louisville.

Nothing like a little pool and some sun, not too bad a view eh?

It took the kids FOREVER to nap yesterday, I think it was 5 before they went down and 7 before we could get them up, so we just went to the Sal.ty D.og restaurant right by the condo and hung out while the kids danced, and danced, and danced. If you ever go there, I highly recommend the BBQ shrimp. WOW, so good.

With it being Labor Day, I think we will plan on heading on over there again tonight. It's close, we can walk, there's music, food, and beverages...not sure that we can ask for anything more.

Boring post I know, more pics tomorrow!

Beach Trip: Day 1 (Saturday)

Computer problem fixed, apparently I needed a new memory card and what's on my old one will have to be taken off when I get home.

We woke up yesterday morning, unfortunately earlier than we wanted but when you have two adults and two, 2 year olds in a room that's sort of hard to do. We got on the road about 10 and all things went pretty good until we literally saw two dogs, in the middle of the median of the highway, having um, relations. Guess I can't blame them as traffic was at a standstill due to a major accident and apparently they were just trying to make the best of a bad situation. I'm now pissed that I wasn't smart enough to get my phone out and take a picture because it was classic, and something I'm sure to never see again.

Right about 3, we rolled over the bridge to this...(of course it was low tide and therefore not the most pleasant of smells but we could have cared less, there was sand, water, and we were happy)




And the kids were sooo excited to FINALLY be here.





We on the other hand, STOKED...yes I look horrible.



Too many dollars at the store, more food than we will ever need...





but with these waiting for us, it's all worth it.




**Disclaimer. No children will be neglected or harmed on this trip. Just two adult women who need and deserve to have a good time.

Mad!!

We're here in our hotel, halfway to our final destination. Overall so far the first day was okay. The kiddos slept for about 2 1/2 which was grand, but now it's 11:30 and they are WIDE AWAKE. Bouncing on the beds, running around...you get the idea. I'm just happy that they are playing so well together as they always do but I'm sure that will eventually change. I'm sitting here trying to download pics from the day and my memory card is BAD and it won't download. So I'm probably going to breakdown and buy a new one on the way tomorrow...had some really cute ones so hopefully I can still get them on here.

Until tomorrow!

Hodge Podge

This is a quick one, as I'm frantically trying to get my shit in order because I AM LEAVING FOR THE BEACH TOMORROW!! Did I say that out loud, because I can't remember a time when I have been so excited. It's just me, Ava, my best friend and her little boy who is 2 months older than Ava. We are leaving the men at home and having what we are calling our "last hurrah" before major changes take place. For her it's the change to a gluten free lifestyle, for me it looks like I'm going to be eating cardboard and sawdust for a while (as I sit here and finish off my cheese fries, good start so far).

I went to a new family Dr. last week just for a check up and blood work, and this was written on my report that I received yesterday "your cholesterol is dangerously high, we need to discuss treatment ASAP." So I went back in today and we agreed for me to TRY a low fat, low cholesterol diet with lots of exercise and will re-evaluate in 2 months, but he also told me with the levels that I have it looks like even if I can lower them, it will only be a band aid affect and therefore won't be effective in the long run. I'm a little overweight, but I don't eat THAT unhealthy and we both agree that since both my parents have a history of heart disease this appears to be something genetic. I'm thankful that I've been able to get enough medical history from my birth parents because that is going to be a big help as we determing my next plan of action.

I went to orientation for Ava's Parent's Day Out tonight, and because she went last year, I was expecting things to be the same. Not at all. This year she is in an older class, they do not nap, they gear their day more towards a pre-school type attitude, and there are 12 kids in a class instead of 8. Just another thing to make me realize just how quickly she is growing up.

And the last random thought, guess who decided to show up today after being absent for 4 1/2 months. Aunt Flow. Seriously??? Could it have come at a worse time??? I think not.

I'm going to try to post every day. Did you see that?? I said EVERY DAY while I am at the beach, but of course that depends on whether or not we can steal Internet from someone. I am hoping to come home totally refreshed, and in a sense, ready to start over

First Haircut

I've waited as long as I could to cut my precious girl's hair. We went to Coo.kie Cut.ters because I knew that they would be able to distract her, or attempt to distract her with a movie as long as possible. The picture quality is horrible because I had to use my cell phone camera, and I had to resize them really small to get them to load, but hopefully you get the idea.

Here she is as they were getting started:

Still not sure what's going on:

You can't tell here but she really didn't like the smock, even though we kept telling her it was a pretty dress. She eventually won and pulled it off.

Final product and an official certificate of her "bravery" as they call it. I'm shedding a tear now as I look at her first lock of hair...